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How do we handle abusers?; Cubs' Addison Russell says he's accountable for 'past actions'; domestic violence experts say MLB can teach us a few things

Capital - 3/3/2019

When Cubs player Addison Russell stepped to the mic earlier this month in front of a room full of reporters, he stuck to a simple message: "I am accountable for my past actions," a phrase he repeated more than once in the nearly 20-minute exchange.

In some circles, it didn't sound like much of an admission.

Russell was speaking on the occasion of his return to spring training workouts with his team, and the beginning of a second chance at his major league career. Last fall, an allegation of domestic abuse by his ex-wife - which he initially denied - resulted in a 40-game suspension under the MLB domestic violence policy.

Russell's appearance raised tough questions for some observers, who wondered whether the Cubs should bring the 25-year-old player back at all.

For Cindy Southworth, executive vice president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, the answer was easy. "Zero tolerance is not that great an idea," she says, "even though on paper it sounds like a great idea." Southworth and others who work with victims and abusers say that's just one in a list of surprising realities around abuse and treatment that are often raised in high-profile cases.

The second chance is good for everyone. Southworth and other advocates say the best approach is somewhat counterintuitive. "We advocate for a measured but robust approach," she says, primarily because it's safer for victims. "If you have a zero-tolerance policy where the first time a victim calls 911 her abuser loses his entire career and livelihood, it actually drives down victims disclosing and coming forward." If one phone call effectively destroys an abuser professionally, his victim may find herself in an even more dangerous position. "You have to worry not only about losing your mortgage or rent money, but about the increased risk of you dying, because he's got nothing to lose at that point."

Abuser treatment hinges on education and accountability.Russell's comments, which seemed canned and careful, were batterer treatment 101. "It's all about accountability," says David Adams, co-founder of Emerge, the nation's first counseling program for domestic abusers. "We ask the person to describe what their abusive behavior was, and if they can't do that, then they are failing the first step of accountability. Then we ask them who was responsible, and if they are blaming their partner, then they're not answering to step two."

Russell's mention of learning what domestic abuse is also speaks to a key tenet of treatment. "Many abusers have a very narrow definition of abuse," says Adams. "We expand that to include things like putting your fist through walls, emotional abuse, financial abuse."

Treatment - and change - are difficult. Data to quantify success rates for abuser treatment programs have been notoriously difficult to obtain. But, according to Adams, men who complete - not merely attend - treatment programs are two to four times less likely to become abusive again.

He notes that anti-domestic abuse programs are analogous to programs such as substance abuse treatment, which we no longer expect to be a one-shot cure. "People think that you should be able to go to one session, and if you don't change, that's a failure," he says. "The reality is, this is just like any other change program."

Abuse is a failure of choice.Though people commonly point to alcohol use, growing up in an abusive home or other factors as causes of domestic abuse, experts say research doesn't bear that out. "It is a learned behavior," says Southworth, "and it can be unlearned. It's not an addiction, it's not mental health, it's chosen. So you can choose not to."

Southworth says that people around an abuser have to be careful never to cast him as the victim. "One thing that every person from fans to athletes on the team can do is to treat him like a normal human being that they enjoy spending time with. But don't minimize what he's done or the steps he's taken. 'Oh man, that was a crock' is not an appropriate response. He's being held accountable for behavior he chose to enact."

Accountability isn't a "them" problem; it's an "us" problem.Experts say that keeping an abuser on the path to change requires 360-degree accountability. "I wish we lived in a world where the entire community held abusers accountable," says Southworth. "The abuser's mom, the abuser's friends, the abuser's employer - it would be ideal if it wasn't just the victim and the justice system holding the abuser accountable. Imagine if your best guy friend said, 'Hell to the no.' What if your mom called and said, 'I hear you've been putting your girlfriend down and treating her like dirt. Cut it out, or you're not invited to Sunday dinner.' What if your whole community said, 'Not on my watch'?"

We have a long way to go to reach that level of response from society at large. "We are fighting against thousands of years of a culture that says this is a private, family matter," Southworth says. But in Russell's case, as the Cubs have acknowledged, it will partly be up to his coaches and teammates to help him stay on track, and to call him into question if his behavior doesn't measure up.

Weirdly, Major League Baseball may have something to teach us here.. Major league sports leagues have a long, ugly history of covering up, enabling and minimizing domestic violence issues among athletes. But MLB's policy on domestic violence actually puts it far ahead of most workplaces when it comes to addressing the issue among employees. If domestic abuse comes to light, "most employers may be in a place where they are disturbed by it but not sure if it's their role to become involved," says Southworth. "They may not have a policy in place. And I would encourage employers to do something similar to what MLB is doing, where there is a measured approach, there is accountability, there are sanctions and there are opportunities for change. I wish more employers said, 'We don't want this behavior in our workforce.' "

Now comes the real test.Cubs management has adopted a wait-and-see policy when it comes to Russell's rehabilitation. If he abuses again, the response will be watched closely by both fans and other players who might have similar issues. "He cannot continue to abuse and control his partners," says Southworth. "Full stop. Done. He's been given a chance to understand what he has done, why it's wrong, and how an equal relationship is about shared power, not about one person making all the decisions. If he doesn't change that behavior, the Cubs have to let him go."

cdampier@chicagotribune.com

Twitter @csdampier

Credit: By Cindy Dampier - Chicago Tribune - cdampier@chicagotribune.com;Twitter @csdampier

Caption: Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell addresses members of the media Feb. 15 during spring training in Mesa, Ariz., about his suspension for domestic violence.

Brian Cassella/Chicago Tribune