Cape sexual abuse awareness drive gives children a voice

March 11-- Mar. 11--HYANNIS -- The thank-you letter looks as cheerful as can be, printed by a child's hand in six colors of magic marker.

But the expression of gratitude extended to Children's Cove also provides heart-wrenching testimony about the sexual abuse the child experienced when she was only 9 years old -- as well as the services that helped her heal.

"Children's Cove is like amazing. They help you with what happened to you," the child wrote in fine point.

Officials at Children's Cove, a Barnstable County agency that conducts forensic interviews of children who police and child protection workers suspect have been sexually abused, are calling the child's missive the "rainbow letter."

They are using it in an awareness campaign that started this winter to educate parents and adults about child sexual abuse -- and to let children themselves know that help is available.

The child who wrote the rainbow letter came to Children's Cove a little more than three years ago, said Jacob Stapledon, community educator and outreach coordinator with Children's Cove.

She wrote her thank-you letter last spring, first printing her words in pencil on lined paper.

"Then she literally went through and colored every word," said Stapledon, who said the girl's voice also has been used in radio spots for Children's Cove.

The idea is not only to educate parents about child sexual abuse but to let children know they have a right to speak up, Stapledon said.

"We also wanted to make sure we were addressing kids," Stapledon said.

Silence is an unfortunate hallmark of child sexual abuse as it occurs, Stapledon noted, saying about 90 percent of children do not disclose their abuse to an adult.

In fact, the child survivor who wrote the rainbow letter said her sister "was the first person I told. I was afraid to tell my parents."

But during a tearful conversation on her birthday she told her parents "everything," the girl wrote. "The next day I went to Children's Cove."

A public service announcement featuring the rainbow letter already has appeared in a magazine, Stapledon said.

By April, which is Child Abuse Prevention Month, the brightly colored letter will be popping up in poster form in libraries, schools, pediatrician offices, recreation centers and on Woods Hole, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket Steamship Authority boats, Stapledon said.

"We really want to get this out there and visible," he said. "We really wanted kids to be able to find that voice."

The goal is to prompt a conversation about child sexual abuse so that it comes out of the darkness, Stapledon said.

Children viewing the poster may ask their parents what it's about.

Children's Cove advises parents to talk to their children about which parts of their body are private and under what circumstances someone can touch them -- a doctor during an exam, a caregiver helping a child bathe or to use the toilet.

Stapledon advised parents to use anatomically correct words to describe body parts.

The parent might not recognize that the child is disclosing abuse if the child uses a euphemism, he said.

"Language is important," Stapledon said. "It's OK to talk about it."

If parents suspect abuse, they should remain calm and not focus on someone in specific but inquire in general about different people the child is in contact with, Children's Cove officials said on the agency's website.

Parents or other adults with concerns can call the police, the state Department of Children and Families or Children's Cove for advice on what to do next, Stapledon said.

Children's Cove sees about 200 cases of suspected child abuse each year, Stapledon said.

Its workers conduct forensic interviews only with children whose cases have been referred by the police or the state department, Stapledon said.

In those cases, the forensic interviewer talks to the child on one side of a two-way mirror, while police, a mental health coordinator, pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner and family advocate witness the interview on the other side.

If the Department of Children and Families is involved, a representative of that agency also will be present, Stapledon said.

The forensic interviewer is trained in trauma-informed techniques, and the agency often refers children to mental health clinicians trained in trauma for follow-up care.

"Our first priority is the child," Stapledon said.

If the case goes to court -- and not all do -- Children's Cove also provides an advocate who attends the trial.

The person who sexually assaulted the writer of the rainbow letter is now a convicted criminal, Stapledon said.

"This case did lead to an arrest and a successful prosecution," he said.

The child who wrote the letter and survived the abuse "has come so far in a lot of ways," Stapledon said. "She is so brave.""

As for the girl herself, she wrote that Children's Cove encouraged her to sing songs about how brave she is and made it safe for her to talk about the abuse.

"I met this wonderful lady named Melanie she was so pretty and so nice," the girl wrote.

"I loved her smile it made me feel like I could tell her anything," she said. "I was having nightmares and then I stopped having them. ... Thank you Children's Cove for everything. (Remember you're) not alone. You have to believe in me and believe in you too."

-- Follow Cynthia McCormick on Twitter: @Cmccormickcct.

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