NMSU conference sheds light on domestic violence

March 18--LAS CRUCES -- Experts, survivors and even abusers came together Friday to shed light on domestic violence in a wide-ranging conference meant to help the community better understand the complexities associated with this form of abuse.

The daylong conference at Hotel Encanto was hosted by a group of New Mexico State University students in Alpha Phi Sigma, the national criminal justice honor society. It was the group's fifth annual criminal justice conference.

During the morning half of the conference, separate panels examined the psychological makeup of victims and abusers. Experts later focused on the prosecution of domestic violence cases and offered guidance on how to navigate the court system to obtain protective orders.

Most of those who spoke also shared personal stories about the impacts of domestic violence on their lives.

Pat Acosta, director of operations at La Casa Inc., said she first experienced abuse at 17. She told the audience she had come home after having her first child and was struck by her then-husband after she refused his advances.

"That was the first time I experienced a punch," she said.

"The abuse never stopped," she added, until she ended the relationship several years later and left the home with her four children, who had witnessed the abuse.

"I am one of those survivors who has seen, by first-hand experience, the damage domestic violence can do to children," she said while sitting on the panel that discussed the psychology of victims.

There was strong consensus among panelists that no two victims are the same, and that they often stay with their abusers for a variety of reasons.

"There is not a cookie-cutter description of a victim," Stacy Scanlon, a clinical supervisor at Southwest Family Guidance Center, said.

One of key ways to preventing continuous cycles of domestic violence is educating victims on the signs of abuse, Scanlon said.

"Being educated on what the warning signs are can help you from repeating the cycle," she said. "But it's very difficult to break because you don't know it until you're in it -- and once you're in it, how do you get out?"

Acosta agreed that education is essential in curbing abuse. She pointed to La Casa's work with victims.

"When we're doing workshops with (victims) about the cycle of violence and the power of control, so many of them come the next day -- I'm even looking in their faces, they look different -- and they say I was able to see what I've been doing," she said.

She also said victims who do not have strong support systems find it much harder to get out of an abusive relationship.

"If you have a woman who has come from Mexico and all her family are in Mexico, and there's no support system, I already know that it's going to be 10-fold and that it's going to be harder for her," she said.

Acosta also offered advice to people who learn about abuse from a victim. She said the "worst thing" a person can do is to "try to give (the victim) advice as to what to do, because it doesn't work that way."

"The best thing we can do for victims," she said, "is to provide them with options (that) are available, and then within themselves, they also have to be ready to seek out and make that step, which takes a lot of courage."

Joseph Cairns, president of NMSU's Alpha Phi Sigma, said about 30 students helped organized this year's conference. But he said their adviser, Andrea Joseph, an associate professor of criminal justice, played a critical role in the logistics of the conference.

The conference was opened to the public, but Cairns said those who attended also included professionals with backgrounds in social work and law enforcement. He said he hoped those who attended learned more about the issues surrounding domestic violence and left with a better sense of awareness.

"But at the end of the day," he said, "if we can actually go out into the community and start making a tangible, physical difference that would be the biggest takeaway and I hope it would develop from this conference."

Carlos Andres López can be reached 575-541-5453, carlopez@lcsun-news.com or @carlopez_los on Twitter.

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