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Child Abuse Awareness Month promoted at ECC

Valley News Today - 4/14/2017

"Every Child Matters" is the theme being promoted this month by Essex Child Care as they take part in the national movement. Using blue pinwheels, the national symbol of Child Abuse Awareness Month ECC Director Tonya Stoakes, her staff, and children in their care "planted" five pinwheels inside five planters in downtown Essex.

When Stoaks asked the children why the pinwheels were being planted, the group replied with an emphatic, "TO STOP CHILD ABUSE." The children then answered with the following ways to go about doing that:

"Don't get in a car with someone even if they want to give you candy."

"If a grown up says or does something you don't like, tell a parent, teacher, police officer, fireman, if something happens."

"Say NO."

"My body is my body."

Some children stay at her daycare for nine to 12 hours every Monday through Friday, she said. So Stoaks wants to make sure the children also learn how to have healthy relationships.

"I told the children we love them and want to keep them safe, and to always let someone know if something happens or doesn't feel right," Stoaks said. "We as adults have to stand up for kids and make sure they're safe and grow up in a loving environment. We make sure they understand what child abuse is, too. We tell them to try to promote loving families, too. We're trying to help them find ways to love each other like sitting down to eat dinner together."

There's no excuse for child abuse, she said, adding that child abuse is not merely physical abuse.

"It can be emotional and mental as well. Everybody gets busy, so kids can be neglected without parents realizing their child needs attention. It's important to be that loving parent and make sure everything you do with your child and say to your child is in a loving way using encouraging words."

When children do require discipline, Stoaks offered a reminder: "Sometimes it's frustrating and you're at your max, but go into a discipline situation with a loving attitude-in a loving way. I encourage parents to be loving 24/7. I know it can be frustrating at times, but we have to remember they are children."

Other tips she shared include the importance of sharing dinner together every night-even if that means eating dessert first.

"You're determining the outcome of a child's life," Stoaks said. "I know when they're here they're safe and are being cared for. So I can encourage families to carry it to their homes and encourage them."

Tips from the National Child Abuse Prevention website childwelfare.gov include:

-Take time each day to connect with your children with a hug, a smile, a song, or a few minutes of listening and talking.

-Find ways to engage your children while completing everyday tasks such as meals, shopping, driving in the car. Talk about what you are doing, ask questions, or play simple games like "I spy."

-Participate in neighborhood activities.

-Join a playgroup or online support group of parents with children at similar ages.

-Find a church that supports parents.

-Provide routines, especially for young children, and make sure everyone who cares for your child is aware of them.

-Talk with your children about how important feelings are.

-Teach and encourage children to solve problems in age appropriate ways.