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San Bernardino school shooting highlights impact of domestic violence

San Bernardino County Sun - 4/19/2017

April 19--It was an innocuous question: "Were you able to find a job?" But those seven carefully chosen words spiraled into a whirlwind of insults, profanities, blaming and shame.

"He started yelling at me and telling me that without him, me and our daughters wouldn't be able to make it," said Norma Rincon, a 29-year-old mother of two from Fontana. After enduring several minutes of verbal attacks from her former husband, Rincon got out of the couple's car and went back to work as a medical assistant.

"There was a lot of shame," said Rincon, recalling the abuse she reportedly suffered at the hands of her husband of three years. "I didn't want people to know what I was going through."

Those feelings of guilt and humiliation are typical for someone who may find themselves in an abusive relationship, said Heather Stevning, executive director of Option House Inc., the only dedicated domestic violence shelter in the city of San Bernardino.

"Some may worry about what others may think about them or that they should have known better especially if the victim is seen as an educated person," she said. "It may keep them from coming forward."

In some instances, especially when dealing with someone of prominence, a victim may fear they will not be believed.

In the wake of the April 10 San Bernardino school shooting in which North Park Elementary special education teacher Karen Smith and student Jonathan Martinez, 8, were killed, it was learned that shooter Cedric Anderson, Smith's estranged husband, had a history of domestic violence. After firing off nine rounds, Anderson turned the gun on himself. His past has led many to wonder if Smith left the couple's short marriage because of abuse and if so, why she hadn't told anyone about the potential danger.

"It's not that easy," explained Rincon, who recalled enduring several lunchtime fights in the couple's car. "You don't want people to know what you're going through and then sometimes you worry that you could get fired because of it."

For Rincon, her fear came true. After one outburst, the young mother was let go from her job.

According to a 2010 report by Robin R. Runge, an assistant professor at the University of North Dakota School of Law, 30 to 53 percent of employed victims of domestic violence lose their jobs due at least in part to the domestic violence.

Although it has yet to be established if Smith was a victim of domestic violence at the hands of her husband, Torrance police records show officers responded to five calls involving Anderson in 2012 and 2013. One of the calls was related to domestic violence involving Anderson and a female cohabitant (not Smith). Three other calls involved family disturbances, a verbal argument and keeping the peace when Anderson was moving out of his residence in the 3400 block of Maricopa Street.

The abuse Rincon reportedly suffered was not only verbal, but also physical and psychological.

Before meeting her husband, Rincon was involved in a devastating crash that burned her face, arms and hands. She said when she and her husband would argue or fight, he would use her physical scars as a way to tear her down.

"He'd tell me no one else would want me," Rincon said.

According to Kidsdata, which used information from the California Department of Justice and other data streams, San Bernardino County historically has had less domestic violence calls for service than the state average.

In 2014, there were 5.7 calls for service per 1,000. That is slightly lower than the 6 per 1,000 reported in the state.

For the abuser, it's not always about showing their physical superiority, it's about expressing their control over another person.

"When the person leaves, the abuser loses control, which is why they're the most dangerous when the victim attempts to leave," Stevning said. And the victim's workplace may be the first place an abuser looks when the victim finally breaks free.

EDUCATION IS KEY

The idea of domestic violence being a family matter that happens within the confines of a home is a changing one. There are times when incidents of domestic abuse spill into the victim's workplace, and educating employers about domestic abuse can help remove the stigma that envelops many victims and keeps them from seeking help.

"We have to let victims know that they have support," said William I. Long, prevention specialist with Option House Inc. "There needs to be more education. Twenty-five years ago, when we had to start doing sexual harassment training, people didn't think it was necessary. Now we know better. We need to get there with domestic violence training in the workplace."

Rincon said even just talking about the issue and offering pamphlets of information on how to get help would have made a difference in her situation.

"If someone at my job would have talked about it during staff meetings, I would have come forward," she said. "I personally would've gotten that help."

Even when abuse does not lead to workplace violence, it can lead to a loss for employers.

A U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found that domestic violence costs companies $5.4 billion annually and noted that it accounts for about 5 percent of all workplace homicides.

A new report from a gun control advocacy group, Everytown for Gun Safety, shows the majority of mass shootings in the United States between 2009 and 2016 involve domestic or family violence. According to the report, released the day after the North Park Elementary shooting, 54 percent of cases were related to domestic or family violence.

Some employers have taken note. The Society of Human Resource Management offers tips on how managers can identify and respond if they suspect an employee may be involved in a violent relationship, including noticing poor concentration and work-related errors not characteristic of the employee; repeated injuries, especially if the employee attempts to conceal the injuries or offers unconvincing explanations for how they occurred; and requests for time off to attend court appearances.

"This is where we need more compassion and understanding from the (human resource) department of a company," Stevning said.

Long and Stevning said they are willing to provide training for private companies.

THE AFTERMATH

Since the North Park slaying of Smith and Jonathan, Stevning said Option House Inc. has received double its usual volume of calls.

According to a monthly report, the organization receives about 300 unduplicated crisis calls for service. That number easily doubled, she said.

"People are recognizing they may be in a similar situation and are now coming forward for help," Stevning said.

Late Friday morning, a couple walked through the doors of the organization on D Street near Eighth Street looking for a way to save their relationship from the cycle of violence.

The woman smiled as her partner stood sheepishly behind her while she was given a list of resources where they could get some help, including programs offered by Option House Inc.'s partners like The Salvation Army and Time for Change.

Although glad to provide assistance, Stevning said a lack of funding ties her hands from offering more.

"We have victim classes and classes for abusers, but we don't have couples classes," she said. "We'd love to have them, but we don't have the funding."

The majority of the group's budget goes to fund its 32-bed shelter, which leaves little more for additional curriculum. As it is, she said the county needs more beds.

"Right now we have 80 to 100 new restraining orders filed every week out of the San Bernardino courthouse alone," she said. "We have 150 beds total in the entire county."

Although that number does not include beds offered by faith-based groups, Stevning said more are still needed to meet the needs of victims.

"We have to come together as a community," she said.

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