Sexual survivor speaks to Hocking College

NELSONVILLE - Going from being a "victim to survivor to thriver" is what sexual assault survivor and activist Angela Rose has promoted for the past 21 years since her own kidnapping and assault at the age of 17, and what she hopes to empower other survivors to strive for, as well.

Now a nationally known speaker and activist, Rose completed a visit to the Hocking College main campus in Nelsonville Thursday to speak to both faculty and students about the issues of sexual violence and prevention, while also offering support and resources.

Kidnapped and sexually assaulted in her Illinois hometown at the age of 17, Rose credits her support system - particularly her grandmother - for helping her turn her experience and anger into activism. With family support and connections made with other survivors, Rose went on to found a national non-profit to help educate the public and advocate for survivors while still an undergraduate student.

Promoting Awareness | Victim Empowerment (PAVE) aims to create and promote both education and action regarding the issues of sexual violence. To date, PAVE is the only organization that works for both prevention and a positive healing process.

Over the years, PAVE and its advocates have created programs like the K-12 consent education, the #ConsentIs campaign, parent education and support, festivals of healing, has actively supported survivors and more.

Through her presentations, Rose advocates in favor of prevention, consent education and bystander intervention rather than simply against rape and assault.

"People often don't want to be against something, they want to be for something, and often sexual assault and abuse education is portrayed as something negative and can scare people away," Rose noted. "I want to encourage dialogue and have a positive message for prevention, education, consent, and helping survivors heal."

Never one to sit back, the speaker began the dialogue herself during Thursday's presentation, inviting students and faculty to ask questions and provide feedback to the information presented.

"The Q and A is my favorite part! I love hearing what people thought of the information, some share their own stories, and others have insightful questions or remarks," Rose admitted.

After the invitation to participate, Hocking College students began to speak up, taking turns with a microphone to voice their questions. Some asked about her own experience, how she felt throughout the process, if she has seen the perpetrator since, and how she still felt about it.

Answering honestly, Rose shared that she was empowered when she faced her attacker in court, but that she's also learned the power of forgiveness.

"It's not that I condone what he's done at all," she clarified. "But hate is tiring work."

Other students asked how she plans to tell her daughter - now 15 months old - her story, how she was able to have relationships again, what advice she had for older siblings, and how long it took to rebuild her confidence.

"Everyone's healing process is different, just like people react to trauma differently. Personally, I had to learn how to be vulnerable again and it took me eight years before I first saw a therapist - which I've learned is actually a sign of strength, and I really worked to curb the negative thoughts that were running through my head," Rose admitted. "But what really helped me was realizing that I wasn't alone, and that this issue was bigger than myself."

A survivor herself who was subjected to scrutiny, blame and additional victimization in the time following her assault, Rose has put an emphasis on working to change the dynamic and stigma surrounding sexual assault to allow survivors to speak without shame and heal in a healthy way.

The speaker explained that victims don't often remember things in a chronological order, so allowing them to first process it in their own way - although it may not make sense - is one of the best ways to help, particularly for first responders, and then to ask the clarifying questions.

With the understanding that the subject matter may be difficult for some audience members to listen to, PAVE provided a small number of self-care packages that were distributed to survivors who were affected by the presentation.

The small boxes included a letter from the founder, a bath bomb, bubbles, a self-care workbook, a list of resources, affirmations for healing, and a copy of Rose's book "Hope, Healing & Happiness: Going Inward to Transform Your Life."

"One of the things I hope people learn during the presentation is that survivors need help re-learning that they deserve to love and be loved," Rose said. "I want to help give them permission to give themselves the permission to self-care and self-love."

Following the presentation, Rose stayed behind to speak individually to students, if they were interested. For over an hour, students waited in line to share their own stories, cry together, and receive encouragement. The founder offered support, information, and comfort to the students as she thanked them for waiting so long to speak to her.

"I'm glad it was such a good turnout tonight, and that so many people found it positive," Rose commented. "I really enjoyed getting to meet so many people and seeing how committed Hocking College is to maintaining that this type of behavior isn't okay and won't be tolerated."

With so much interest from students and support from the faculty, Rose added that she would like to maintain contact with the school to possibly create a PAVE chapter on campus.

"Sexual assault is always an issue, particularly for college campuses, so Hocking College continues to put effort into our commitment to safety and ensuring that campus is a safe place for everyone to be," Tim Brunicardi, Hocking College Executive Director of Marketing, Public and Community Relations stated. "To have a nationally-known speaker like Angela come visit just furthers that commitment."

For more information on PAVE, visit shatteringthesilence.org, the Facebook page "PAVE - Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment," or follow Angela Rose on Twitter, @TweetAngelaRose.

Individuals in need of support can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visiting hotline.rainn.org to access an online chat.