Helping vulnerable families bond

Feb. 25-- Feb. 25--"It is a good 90 degrees difference," Emma Casselton said of fostering and adopting children from troubled backgrounds compared to raising children in a loving home from the very beginning.

"If you're a patient, loving parent, and you're doing all of the nurturing things and this child is bonding with you because you're consistent, it's huge compared to a child ... who has had all of that interrupted." she said.

"They've oftentimes suffered very, very stressful periods in their lives ... and they do not trust," Casselton continued. "They don't respect anybody's judgement but their own, so it is not the same kind of parenting."

She speaks from experience. For four and a half years, Casselton has served as the area director of Children's Hope Child Placing Agency.

It is a non-profit corporation with 13 locations throughout the State of Texas, including Greenville, which works with families wanting to adopt children placed in foster care through the Texas Department of Family & Protective Services -- or CPS.

To help prospective foster parents be the kind of parents that children who have suffered neglect or abuse need, the Children's Hope Family Enrichment Center is now open in Greenville. The center offers a variety of free classes, support groups and therapy to assist families with their journey towards healing.

The family enrichment center is focused on providing education and support to families both during the adoption process and after the adoption process has been completed.

Classes are held at times convenient for families.

"It can be hard to hold a job if you have to take off all the time. For us to be open just 8-5 won't work, so we offer classes during the evening and the day, because we don't want competition with work to be an issue," Casselton explained.

In addition, most of the services are free. "Cost can also be prohibitive, so while there may be the occasional fee, our services will almost always be free, so that all they have to do is register and show up.

"Keeping cost and scheduling as non-prohibitive as possible is helpful because providing aftercare is important," Casselton added.

The newly formed families are vulnerable, Casselton noted, and stressed the need for the classes and support.

"A lot of times, especially with aunts, uncles, friends of the family, teachers and others who already know the child who are wanting to adopt ... they think they can feed, clothe, buy food for them, and everything will get better, but without a bond it won't. They need to deal with the child's trauma first."

"It's a real need in the real world, for some of our most vulnerable ... the parents are very vulnerable, the children are very vulnerable, the relatives are very vulnerable. It's a very delicate balance," Casselton said.

The Enrichment Center is planned to provide the nurturing and skills to create successful integration in families.

"Oftentimes, in my experience, when it doesn't work out the way everyone envisioned it to be, the grandparents or relatives who adopted the kid will feel as though they've failed because they weren't able to meet the kid's needs, and the children end up back in the system.

"So, if we can help them more through the rough spots and help them learn how to build trust ... and these children can stay in a family, and outside of CPS again or foster care again, then we can say that we've had a modicum of success."

Despite the challenges of helping children from troubled backgrounds learn to trust and form healthy relationships, the resilience of the children continues to inspire Casselton and the rest of the staff at Children's Hope.

"There's this resilient seed in these kids," Casselton said with a smile. "Studies show that if they've only had one ... truly strong positive connection, then they can build on that. There's a whole lot of children that people have written off, and they have risen above and beyond.

"It's amazing what a resilient child can do against all odds.

"One of my little fellows, honest to goodness, was a state champion in mixed marshal arts ... and his plan is to open a dojo," Casselton beamed. "He's an adult now, and he's trying to talk his adoptive dad into helping him finance a dojo. His dad was laughing the last time and he said, 'He's got the martial arts down, but I don't know if he's got a business head yet,' but that could very well come."

"It's not a bad gig though, see these kids grow up, and seeing them go on to lead productive lives."

The Children's Hope Family Enrichment Center is located at 2804 Mitchell St., in Greenville -- the former location of Family Christian Store -- and offers free services including foster training, co-parenting workshops, first aid training, support groups, and a range of child and adult therapy. For more information, call 903-455-8420.

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