Embarrassment to the family?

DEAR AMY: I am an 18-year-old woman, going into college this fall.

My older sister is going to get married this September. I was going to be a bridesmaid, but this all changed when she decided that because I wouldn't allow her to have her wedding the weekends of my prom or high school graduation she would demote me in favor of my stepsisters.

Recently, I was put to the task of videotaping the wedding. I'm fine with this job.

A few days ago my sister called ranting about being unable to afford flowers for the wedding, I responded, 'If you stopped spending so much money on things like a new flat-screen, cellphone, and cigarettes, you might be able to afford the flowers." She responded with very rude and hurtful things. Later, after talking to both my mom and my stepmom, I decided to text her and tell her that if she kept up her attitude, I would be staying at my university instead of coming to the wedding, and she would have to find another desperate sibling to videotape her doomed marriage.

She told me that I'm an embarrassment to the family.

Was I too harsh, or was I doing the right thing? - Responsible Sister

DEAR SISTER: You and your sister communicate in a way that could best be called "toxic." You actually seem fairly proud of the things you've said to her, but yes, your statements are harsh. Referring to a person's marriage as "doomed," is worse than harsh - even if the statement is true.

It would be very easy for you to stay on campus and skip this wedding, but showing up for people during milestone events is important. You know this because you valued your own prom and graduation enough not to want your sister's wedding to interfere.