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Retreat targets parents of 'extra needs' children

The Daily Progress - 8/25/2017

In the spring of 2016, the home of Andrea Faris Roberts' great-great aunt on the border of Nelson and Albemarle counties went on the market.

Roberts, the mother of 15-year-old Reece, who has Down syndrome, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and sensory processing disorder, visited the century-old, rural Central Virginia house and felt a sense of peace settle over her as she heard crickets chirping.

There, she said she felt peace brought on by the sanctuary of a few quiet moments to herself and realized, "if I need this [rest], how many other people need this and don't even realize it?"

Then, Roberts thought, "What can I do as a greater venture instead of just doing it for myself?"

So Roberts established A Mother's Rest Charitable Respite Foundation with the goal of offering a chance for parents of children with extra needs to rest and recuperate through three-day weekend retreats.

According to Roberts, she uses the term "extra needs" because "special needs" often conjures thoughts of only those who have major cognitive or physical disabilities. A Mother's Rest aims to help parents of children with any type of disability, including cognitive disabilities like Attention deficit disorder or others, physical disabilities or emotional disabilities.

A Mother's Rest hosted its first event focused on dads. Between Aug. 11 and Aug. 14, the Rockfish Valley Inn in Afton became a place where dads could take a break in a laid-back atmosphere free of schedules and a to-do list focused on the needs of their children.

"We recognize the importance for dads and the fact they need a break, too," Roberts said.

In a news release about the event, Rockfish Valley Inn owners Kim and Todd Rath said they wanted to get involved in the event because "it's organization like this that do make a difference."

While many events geared toward parents of children with extra needs are tightly scheduled with multiple speakers or other assemblies, the goal of the retreats made possible by A Mother's Rest is different.

"I think that most of the special needs events that exist are [highly scheduled] like that," Roberts said. "... It doesn't address the very basic physical and emotional needs of just being able to let your hair down and rest.... I just wanted to be able to give parents the time to truly rest and sleep and not have anything to do."

She added the idea of having a few uninterrupted nights of sleep often can be enough to "completely change the mindset" of parents of children with extra needs. For parents who are able to attend A Mother's Rest retreats, just looking forward to a break can keep them going, Roberts said.

According to Roberts, while the retreats offer respite - a term Roberts describes as not only a break but anything that alleviates pressure - for parents, they're also unique in the fact they bring together people dealing with similar issues.

Parents at the retreats have the chance to fellowship "with other parents who understand the challenges."

Roberts said the organization's goal is to provide retreats for less than $200 per weekend for attendees. To make that possible, Roberts works to secure outside sponsors for the events and works with inn owners on pricing.

She said individuals also can donate toward the cause or can provide gift certificates for families they personally know would benefit or for others who will attend.

According to Roberts, who founded Reece's Rainbow, an advocacy and grant foundation that has helped facilitate adoptions of more than 1,700 orphans with disabilities, A Mother's Rest is a reflection of what she views as her current calling. Now, Roberts aims to help kids with extra needs by first helping their parents.

"You are supporting those children by keeping their parents healthy," Roberts said of those who support retreats.

In the past six months or so the foundation has been fully established, a few retreats already have taken place with several more retreats scheduled for Nebraska, Louisiana, Georgia and Ohio in the upcoming months, according to the organization's website.

A couples' retreat also is scheduled to take place in Nellysford in September.

Roberts hopes a home base for A Mother's Rest can be established within a year or so.