Support groups Families First to offer ADHD parenting groups

PORTSMOUTH - Families First has two education/support groups for parents of kids with ADD/ADHD coming up this fall (one in Portsmouth and one in Seabrook).

Margie Wachtel, communications director for Families First said the group facilitator, Lynn Marsh, has children with ADHD, diagnosed, not as toddlers, but much later in their adolescence.

"She has a lot of interesting things to say based on her experience parenting children with ADHD," said Wachtel.

Marsh said she began her career as a school guidance counselor.

"I have a master's degree in counseling and a coaching certificate," said Marsh. "I didn't know a lot about ADHD, but I learned. I also learned there was not a lot out there in terms of support for parents of children with ADHD. I wanted to help. This can be hard to recognize and many parents end up isolated and doubting themselves."

Marsh said she approached Families First about starting a group in part because she knew it already had a wide array of parenting classes, most with free child care. She found a second counselor who runs the group in Seabrook, while she runs the Portsmouth group.

"Usually in the groups we get 10-12 parents," said Marsh. "Their children are primarily in K-8. Sometimes we see parents of middle school kids. My kids are in college now and there are still challenges."

Since she feels there is a lot of misinformation about ADD/ADHD, Marsh said the groups will be guided, to ensure she can impart the information she feels parents of the children need to know.

"We will discuss therapists, and behavior therapy," said Marsh. "We can talk about medication. Most people want to know what the diagnosis entails. They want to know how they are supposed to parent the child and where to find support and activities for them."

Marsh said her three children were all affected. One is now 25, and she has twin girls who are 22-years-old.

"We didn't know the oldest had ADHD for quite some time," said Marsh. "The twins we recognized earlier because we had experience. But in some kids it is not readily recognizable until high school, when they have bigger projects and are expected to be much more organized."

Marsh said some parents have a harder time accepting ADHD. She said they see it more as a behavior problem, and that's information she wants to impart in her groups, that it is not a behavior problem.

"These kids cannot sit still," she said. "They cannot focus, cannot pay attention. But there are ways to get through it."

Newmarket mom Tracy Gray has participated in Marsh's groups.

"One of the main reasons I attended Lynn's ADHD support group at Families First was having attended a group she did at Seacoast Mental Health a couple years ago," said Gray. "As the mother of a child with ADHD you can never have enough information or support. I wanted the support from other parents out there experiencing what I was experiencing. I wanted the knowledge that they had. There were parents with children who were younger, older and the same age."

Gray said she felt she could offer encouragement to those who just received an ADD/ADHD diagnosis.

"Those who had teenagers older than my 14 year old were able to prepare me for the challenges adolescence and puberty will bring to a child with ADHD," said Gray. "Having handouts about that night's topic was extremely helpful. I would recommend this group to any parent of a child with ADD/ADHD."

Another parent, Misty Spangler OF Portsmouth has a 10-year-old with ADHD.

"I joined the support group because I didn't feel like I was getting much information on why my child behaved the way she did," said Spangler. "I knew she was a little different from your "A" typical child and I needed a better way to talk with her and discipline her. The techniques my parents used with my brother and I did not work for my child at all. As a mother wanting to do the best for my kid (all the while wanting to pull my hair out), I knew we needed a different approach with her. I also wanted to know why my kid was so different and how could I get myself on her frequency for us to better understand each other."

Spangler said the group helped her feel she was not alone.

"All these parents were going through the same difficulties with behavior, school, peer relationships and sometimes public embarrassments," said Spangler. "The group was a true godsend for my daughter and I. Lynn had wonderful information on how ADD/ADHD affects the thought process, how they might deal with life and be effected by things differently. Honestly there was so much information packed into these sessions that I went to the next series of the ADD Support Group."

The groups are for parents of younger kids. Wachtel said Families First is also planning a group, possibly later in the fall, on helping kids with ADD/ADHD succeed in college.