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People don't get why her child won't say trick or treat. Could a blue pumpkin help?

Kansas City Star - 10/31/2019

Oct. 31--Some people wouldn't give the 3-year-old candy on Halloween until he said "trick or treat." But he couldn't say the words. He has autism.

His mom, Omairis Taylor, an Army sergeant stationed in Hawaii, took out her frustration on Facebook on Oct. 16. She begged people to be kind, a plea that was shared more than 156,000 times, sparked more than 6,000 comments and fueled a campaign to send children with autism trick-or-treating with a special symbol this year: blue pumpkins.

Taylor and other parents hope the blue pumpkins, part of a nationwide autism awareness campaign, will speak for their children who cannot speak.

"My son is 3 years old and has autism. He is nonverbal," Taylor wrote. "Last year houses will wait for him to say TRICK OR TREAT in order for him to get a piece of candy and there I go explaining the situation for the next 5 blocks.

"This year we will be trying the BLUE BUCKET to signify he has autism. Please allow him (or anyone with a BLUE BUCKET) to enjoy this day and don't worry I'll still say TRICK OR TREAT for him. ... This holiday is hard enough without any added stress."

The blue pumpkins might also signal that the trick-or-treaters holding them can't make eye contact. And maybe they don't like the feel of a costume next to their skin so that's why they're not wearing one.

Parents hope the blue pumpkins -- which have stirred up hearty discussion online -- will encourage people to be patient with their children.

Brooks Silvey of Olathe will be carrying one of those blue pumpkins. This Halloween is a big night for the 7-year-old. It will be the first time he walks up to doors in his neighborhood trying to get candy.

Brooks has gone out on Halloween night before, but usually watched the fun from a wagon pulled by his parents. They were reluctant to let him walk up to doors because Brooks, who is on the autism spectrum, likes exploring other people's houses.

"He really likes going to people's houses," said his mom, Samantha Silvey, who serves on the board of the Autism Society of the Heartland. "But this is one (time) where you go to people's houses and you don't go in. So that's why we've been kind of shy about taking him in previous years."

She hopes the blue pumpkin does the trick.

"As long as that information is shared and the word gets out, hopefully that will help communicate and explain why he isn't saying (trick-or-treat) and why he may not be looking at them and maybe why he would eventually try to get into their house," said Silvey.

#Autismawareness

A Facebook post from Autism Speaks Kansas City earlier this month -- one of many promoting the blue pumpkin campaign on social media -- encouraged members to "get it started in KC" with the hashtag #autismawareness.

It's unclear where the blue pumpkin movement actually began. Blue, by the way, is the color used for World Autism Awareness Day in April.

Newsweek reported that last Halloween a Louisiana mom, Alicia Plumer, went viral when she wrote on Facebook that her autistic son, who is grown, would be trick-or-treating with a blue pumpkin.

"If you see someone who appears to be an adult dressed up to trick-or-treat this year carrying this blue bucket, he's our son! His name is BJ & he is autistic. While he has the body of a 21 year old, he loves Halloween," Plumer wrote.

"Please help us keep his spirit alive & happy. So when you see the blue bucket share a piece of candy. Spread awareness!"

Wendy Fournier, the president of the National Autism Association, signed off on the campaign, telling Newsweek that "as the general public becomes more aware of it, we think it could be a wonderful way for kids -- the little ones and the bigger ones -- to participate in Halloween festivities without the judgment that they sometimes face in social situations."

Is it a blue or teal pumpkin?

The blue pumpkins, though, have sparked a bit of confusion and some online debate.

For one thing, there's already a "blue" Halloween pumpkin out there. The Teal Pumpkin Project, championed by the nonprofit Food Allergy Research and Education, or FARE, has for several seasons encouraged homeowners to display a teal-colored pumpkin on their doorstep to show they have non-food treats for little ones with food allergies.

There's been pushback, too, from critics who don't like the idea of identifying autistic children in such a public way. One commenter on Taylor's Facebook post wrote: "I would be devastated if my family put my disorder on display."

"That's exactly what this is about," Jamie Angell, a Facebook user from Mount Vernon, Missouri, near Springfield, responded. "It shouldn't be devastating to talk about a disorder, it's a part of who you are and no one should feel ashamed of that. Bringing awareness to autism with something as simple as a blue bucket can help normalize what it is to others."

Tracie Howell of Overland Park understands the mixed feelings. Her 10-year-old son, Britton, is on the autism spectrum. And though she recently found a blue pumpkin in her huge stash of Halloween decorations, Britton might not carry it tonight.

"He is getting to an age ... he doesn't like being noticed that he's different right now," said Howell, senior coordinator for Autism Speaks Kansas City. "He has an orange one. And he may even, who knows, he might even move on. The middle-schoolers have pillowcases because they're smart.

"I think it's important to note that this is a really fun and exciting awareness opportunity. But there are some people who don't want to tell everyone they have autism. And maybe it's a parent or maybe it's the young man who is coming into his own and learning a lot about himself. He doesn't like for people to point out that he's different."

Halloween can be tricky

Online commenters worried, too, that the blue pumpkins could make children targets for predators. Merriam mom Adrian Schoen considered that. It's the same concern preventing her from displaying a sticker in her car window that says, "autistic child onboard," intended to alert first responders.

"I don't like a permanent label like that because then I think it attracts predators to children who aren't responsive and can't react appropriately," said Schoen.

She doesn't, though, have the same concern about the blue pumpkins. "It's a one-time event, and the parent is present. And it's not a (long-term) label on their back. So I'm all for it," she said.

Halloween has always been tricky for her two sons -- Pierce, who turns 6 on Friday, and Leighton, who is 3. Both were diagnosed with autism in recent months. Both boys will carry blue pumpkins on Halloween.

Pierce's speech is delayed, "but he's very vocal. And he's very friendly," she said. "He is too social, too trusting. He's the kid who will get into somebody's car and not think about it. He will walk off with somebody.

"So, for him, the act of walking from house to house was not an issue. But his speech has always been so terribly delayed no one could really understand him. So there was a lot of difficulty because he'd get frustrated with his peers or other adults. He's trying to say trick or treat and they didn't understand him."

Leighton's speech is also limited. "He's considered nonverbal, and has a difficult time with social interactions," said Schoen. "He withdraws. And It's very difficult for him to interact and to ask for candy or anything.

"So we were just discussing how we're going to handle that because he's 3 now. How we handle that with him not being able to respond, because a lot of people will say, 'Say trick or treat' and they wait. And he's just not capable of doing that."

Leighton also doesn't like wearing costumes. He's not a fan of face paint or certain noises, either, a challenge on Halloween night because some people play scary music at their homes.

But Schoen wants her sons to experience Halloween like other children and is excited to see how the boys handle trick-or-treating. Pierce is wearing a T. rex costume. Leighton, fingers crossed, will climb into a shark costume. "This is a big year for us," Schoen said.

'I can't say trick or treat'

Howell's son, Britton, was diagnosed when he was 3. She calls him "Mr. Competitive" because he's working hard in private gymnastics lessons and plays soccer.

"He is very outgoing. I would say overtly so, to the point where social interactions are a little awkward for him," said Howell. "But we love his dedication and energy to subjects that he likes. At home we encourage that. At school he's learning how to navigate those social situations."

In years past, because of his speech delays, Mom or Dad would have to chime in "trick or treat" on the neighbors' doorsteps.

As Britton got older, "I think costumes became the biggest issue for him," she said. But going door to door? That's a piece of cake.

"That's where he finds his comfort zone, that he can go do the exact same thing at 20, or 50, different houses and the same result comes out of it," said Howell.

Britton is more than ready for Halloween this year, his mom said. He even has a backup pumpkin ready to go.

She has seen all types of blue pumpkin alternatives floating around on the internet this season as parents of autistic children get creative.

"They either have stickers or pins that their children wear. And I have a lot of moms that are showing the bags they made, so instead of pumpkins (the kids) might have a little bag that says, 'I can't say trick or treat,'" said Howell.

"I think it's a family decision for people who are willing to come forward and say, 'Hey, my kid is diagnosed with autism and we're willing to share that. We're willing to educate people.'

"There are people who are not willing to do that, and that's OK, too. But this might just give us an opportunity to go out and be welcomed a little bit more. We're just trying to find a unique way to create an inclusive night. It's a perfect opportunity to include those who often don't get included."

She hopes all those blue pumpkins out there will encourage candy givers to "just be gentle, to be welcoming to that family.

"Just be open-minded to the fact that their child might be standing there looking at you having no clue what is about to happen. And they might cry and run away, and that's OK, too."

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