'13 Reasons Why': What a parent needs to know about the series

Parenting can be difficult in the media age. Children and teens are exposed to more than many realize through social media and visual programming.

A hot topic today is the Netflix program "13 Reasons Why." Producers tout it as a helpful program accessing suicide. Others think it does more harm than good.

Health care professionals at Communicare are weighing in on the subject.

"13 Reasons Why" is based on the 2007 bestselling book about a teenage girl who committed suicide, said Ann-Michelle Lykins, off-site children's services manager in Bardstown. In the show, the girl leaves behind a collection of tapes explaining the story behind her action, she said.

It is a 13-episode series rated TV-MA, a warning that mature themes are covered.

Lykins said beneficial elements could include the thought-provoking nature of the program. It offers an opportunity to discuss common issues youth experience, suicide awareness and, most importantly, suicide prevention.

But the program also poses dangers.

According to Lykins, the program minimizes personal responsibility for a person's actions by casting blame on those whom they perceive have wronged them - a "you-made-me-do-this" mentality.

"Suicide is depicted as a powerful way to make your statement, punish others, get retribution and solve your problems," she said. "Mental health interventions are portrayed as negative and ineffective."

Lykins said parents need to be aware of many issues before allowing their teens to watch the program.

"The show contains profanity, alcohol and drug use, nudity, sexual content, rape, and a graphic suicide," she said. "Several scenes could potentially be triggering events that could act to re-traumatization persons with trauma history."

While mental health professionals are not portrayed in a positive manner, Lykins said they are highly invested in the well-being of others. These people are trained professionals who "listen, offer support and assist people to develop healthy ways to manage feelings, handle difficult situations and solve normal and acute problems."

If teens do watch the show, parents need to talk about issues afterward.

"We strongly encourage ongoing and active dialogue for anyone who watches this program in order to help process and understand the content, feelings, emotions and the basic interpretation of the content," she said.

Lykins gave conversation starters she found on the Common Sense Media website titled "5 Conversations To Have With Your Teens After Watching 13 Reasons Why."

n Have you witnessed or experienced cyberbullying or more traditional bullying? What forms can bullying take? What can you do to fight it?

n Do you think the series romanticizes suicide or does it provide an important outlet and opportunities for discussion or both?

n When is it important to talk about mental health, especially if you are worried about a friend or family member? What resources are available to help both children and adults?

n What do you think about the character's choices? Was it right for her to blame others for her suicide? Do you think the tapes she made helped or hurt people?

n What are healthy ways to cope when relationships, family and school become overwhelming?

"From my own perspective, if '13 Reasons Why' starts a conversation for a teen regarding their own feelings of depression and despair, then that is a positive outcome," Lykins said. "We recommend teens reach out to talk about positive and negative feelings and emotions and especially when they feel hopeless, helpless, powerless or just unclear about their future."

She said teens can reach out to professional services, local church communities, school counseling resources, friends, neighbors and family.

Calvin Jackson, chief behavioral health officer in Elizabethtown, said mental health professionals know that youth have access to a variety of "intense, powerful, confusing, offensive, confrontational and provocative media with few realistic limitations and controls."

"While we do not support all media available to youth, we seek to offer discussion and processing opportunities, when needed, to allow rational insight, closure and an adequate understanding of what the media content means to you," he said, adding it's important to support teens to find answers and positive outcomes.

No matter what the source of conflict, talking about it is always a good idea, Jackson said.

"Reaching out to someone to have a discussion about personal thoughts, feelings and positive outcomes is most often the best answer and seldom the problem," he said. "Not having a discussion about an area of conflict, regardless of the origin of the conflict, is probably the most tragic response possible."

Becca Owsley can be reached at 270-505-1741 or bowsley@thenewsenterprise.com.

Call for help

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, here are numbers to reach trained counselor or other help.

* Communicare Crisis Line: 1-800-641-4673, 24 hours a day, seven days a week

* Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health System: 1-800-274-7374, 24 hours a day, seven days a week

* National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

* National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-2433, 24 hours a day, seven days a week