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TO YOUR HEALTH Caring for an aging parent from afar

The Reading Advocate - 7/21/2017

Providing care and support for an aging parent who lives far away can be trying and stressful. In some situations, moving closer to home to care for the parent or moving the parent closer to family is not an option. Even so, there are still ways to contribute to their well-being and feel confident that they are receiving proper care.

This column will discuss the various options long-distance caregivers have for providing support to their aging loved one, from afar.

Living an hour or more away from your loved one poses challenges when trying to be an involved caretaker. Some of the most common challenges include keeping lines of communication open, and dealing with scheduling logistics and the guilt of not being able to live closer to your loved one.

The following are some ways you can be involved as a long-distance caregiver:

Be available to provide emotional support to your loved one and his or her in-person caregiver(s). Regular communication can go a long way. The ability to be present and provide respite care when the caregiver needs a break is an added bonus as well.

Schedule and coordinate necessary services for your loved one such as medical appointments and household help.

Manage and pay your loved one's bills. Keep a list of his or her providers and their contact information, as well as a record of his or her insurance information, medical history and present condition.

Keep in touch with your loved one's medical providers if you are the health care proxy, or if your loved one has given permission for providers to speak to you.

Organize a meeting with family, caregivers and anyone else involved in your loved one's care to discuss his or her needs and caregiving plan. It's important to make sure duties are divided fairly so that no one feels overwhelmed. Divide the duties so that no one is feeling overwhelmed. Whenever possible, involve your loved one.

Depending on the level of care your loved one needs, ask family members, neighbors or friends to check in on your loved one on a regular basis.

Research agencies that provide help with meals, personal care or household chores. Your loved one's local Council on Aging, elder services or senior center can be great resources, as can AARP.org.

There are also things you can do when you visit your loved one to help contribute to their care:

Before visiting, find out if there is anything specific you can bring. It can be as simple as a favorite comfort food or clothing.

Try to coordinate your visit to coincide with an upcoming doctor's appointment. It is an ideal opportunity to ask questions and take notes.

During your visit, evaluate your loved one's home for any safety hazards, and to see if anything can be done to make life easier and more comfortable. Observe how he or she is managing the activities of daily life and personal care. Grip bars in the shower, removal of any items that might cause tripping and moving household items to a reachable spot are all great ways to provide safety in their home.

Designate some quality time with your loved one. Take them to a movie, a favorite restaurant or to a friend or family member's home for a visit. If your loved one is unable to leave the house, arrange for family members and friends to come by for a visit, and think of some fun activities to do together at home.

Being a long-distance caretaker is often difficult, but it can also be a rewarding experience. Staying involved and participating as much as you can in your loved one's care will help you maintain your relationship with them, as well as provide peace of mind that they are receiving great care. And if you are feeling guilty or overwhelmed, don't hesitate to join a caregiver support group in your area. Know that you are doing the best you can and that you are not alone.

- Gail Infurna, R.N., is a Clinical Liaison at Wingate at Reading. She is also the alderman for Ward 5 in Melrose. Infurna discusses health issues in her recurring "To Your Health" columns, printed exclusively in the Melrose Free Press and Reading Advocate. E-mail her at melrose@wickedlocal.com.