Kindergarten crunch: 29 days off leave parents scrambling for child care

Aug. 04--Congratulations! Your child is a kindergartner. Now it's time to strategize regarding child care.

Grade school schedules are notoriously hard on working parents, chock-full of days off for teacher training, parent-teacher conferences and government holidays that most employers don't recognize. A 2016 report from the Center for American Progress found public schools are closed for about 29 days a year -- not counting summer vacation.

"I just thought it was completely bonkers," study author Catherine Brown said of the public school schedule she encountered as a parent in Washington, D.C.

"The lens through which the school schedules operate was completely disconnected from my reality as a full-time worker."

Parents complain of scattered days off that can sneak up on you and of quirky days off that leave parents with few child-care options.

"Well, great, I'm super-glad that it's Casimir Pulaski Day," Kristi Hubert of Oak Park said of the holiday honoring the Polish hero of the American Revolution.

"But, really, it's Tuesday -- what do you do?"

Brown and her co-authors found that days off in the nation's largest public school districts varied widely. In most school districts in Lancaster County, Pa., the first day of deer hunting season was a day off. Kids in many districts got days off for parent-teacher conferences, which can bring the double whammy of a day off for kids and a required daytime parent-teacher conference for parents.

Emily Basque of Chicago is particularly frustrated by a version of Teacher Conference Day that includes a parent-teacher conference to which the child is not invited.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with my child -- who I cannot bring to this meeting?" said Basque, the mother of two children, ages 6 and 3, and the director of project management at a software consulting firm.

Parents patch together solutions as best they can, said Brown.

"A lot of people are relying on family or friends. Many women are just making the decision not to work -- and I think school schedules are part of it. Especially for women that are working low-wage jobs -- it doesn't make sense to work a low-wage job when you have to take so many days off."

Brown wants to see systemic changes, including a better alignment of school schedules with working parents' schedules. In the mean time, parents recommend taking a proactive approach. You don't want to be the mom or dad who turns to a new month on the calendar and breaks out in a cold sweat. Get the entire school schedule as soon as you can, and start strategizing.

Do you know a stay-at-home parent who might want to baby-sit one day a month? Do you have a friend with a part-time nanny who might be available? Do you know a teacher with young children? Maybe his or her nanny will be available during school holidays. Do you have a friend with whom you can split baby-sitting duties, with each of you taking both the kids for half the days?

"The biggest thing that I've learned is that nothing happens naturally" when it comes to landing good child care on days off, Basque said.

"You have to plan it, and organize it, and touch base with people."

If you have relatives who are willing and able to step in, congratulations. You've hit the child care jackpot. The doting grandparent who is waiting in the wings to provide free child care -- and is close enough geographically to do so -- isn't the reality for most modern families.

The qualified and experienced backup baby-sitter who's just waiting around for one to three scattered workdays per month is a similarly elusive figure.

Online services such as care.com offer backup care options, as well as services such as background checks. But be aware that many sitters are students or part-time workers with limited availability, so you may need to hire more than one, and the hiring process can be time-consuming.

Basque, who hired a long-term nanny through care.com said she looked at 100 resumes, talked to 40 candidates on the phone and met five in person.

"It's really difficult to find people you trust to leave your child with," she said.

Many parents turn to day camps and other group child-care options offered by park districts, YMCAs or community centers. You'll have to do a little research because options vary from district to district, and you'll have to be willing to pay. A quick online sampling of prices nationwide found options from about $30 to $75 a day.

Under the circumstances, taking a day off or working at home with the kids may sound like the best option, but bear in mind that "working with the kids at home" isn't for the faint of heart.

"A lot of the time I'll take a sick day or work from home, and I'm kind of half working because it's very difficult to actually work from home when your kids are home with you and they're little," Brown said.

Hubert, who co-owns a public relations and marketing firm, looked into day camp and decided that the costs and rewards just didn't add up.

When her sons, now 11 and 7, were younger, she sometimes took them to work for a day of quiet Lego play and Netflix movies. Other times, she would take a day off and make the most of it.

"If I was going to have to take the day off, I kind of wanted some fun-mom credit," she said. "So that's why I started Super Funday Monday and Super Friday Funday. I can't remember what we called Tuesday."

She'd take her sons to downtown Chicago on the commuter train, which they loved when they were little. They went to museums and the planetarium. During one memorable outing, they were waiting for a cab in blizzard conditions when Hubert lost her temper with a cabbie who had stopped at the curb, but wouldn't pick them up. Hubert insisted, and the cabbie caved.

Her sons were delighted, Hubert said. They still joke about what happens when "mom goes all cabbie" on someone.

nschoenberg@chicagotribune.com

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