Family and Marriage: Keys to a great marriage

“A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make.” – Gary L. Thomas,

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Bible

On Aug. 26, FAMCO is hosting a workshop entitled “Keys to a Great Marriage.” John Payne, the presenter at the workshop, is a licensed family and marriage counselor and Director of the Foundations Christian Counseling Center in Goose Creek, SC. The workshop will cover the following topics: 1. Biblical foundation of marriage, 2. Personalities/Communication, 3. Conflict Resolution, and 4. Legacy.

“Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes. And no marriage is free of conflict. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict. So how do you manage the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive?”

The above quote, from “Psychology Today,” reasonably defines what most people think about marriage today. As it indicates, divorce is becoming increasingly common – on the order of 50 percent of all marriages end that way. Perhaps one of the main reasons for so many marriage failures is that there is no preparation of any kind required before marriage.

In South Carolina, the following is required to get married:

24-hour waiting period from the time of filing the application for marriage to issuance of the license. At least 18 years old to marry without parental consent. Identification (driver’s license is sufficient).$45 application fee (cash only!)

No training or preparation at all!

A search on line for long-term relationships reveals a wide variety, one of which is marriage. The only obvious difference between marriage and any other long-term relationship is the commitment demonstrated by the act of marriage. And this may simply be getting a marriage license and going through a brief ceremony by the appropriate official.

Whether or not we acknowledge it, the act of marriage was first ordained by God when He said “The two shall become one.” And the best way to assure the longevity of the marriage is to follow God’s plan for marriage.

The four topics to be covered in the upcoming FAMCO workshop address several important components of God’s plan for marriage.

The first topic, the Biblical foundation for marriage, highlights the fact that marriage and the family is God’s basic structure for society today. As FAMCO motto goes, Families Together Make Communities Better. Our families today are under attack. Hence, it is imperative that we understand God’s plan for a successful marriage and family.

Understanding personalities and how to communicate is essential to a successful marriage. We are all different. God made us that way, so there must be a reason. Rather than using these differences as points of contention, we must learn to celebrate and unite the differences to make up the whole.

These differences can bring about conflict, however. Conflict can only be resolved through communication and the unconditional love that only comes from God. We can learn to enjoy the differences and enjoy coming together to accomplish more than we possibly could separately.

Many of these differences come about because of our personal family histories. Our past clearly affects our present behaviors. We can learn to deal with the effects of the past and also how to leave a legacy for the future.

The workshop on “Keys to a Great Marriage” will be held on Saturday, Aug. 26, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the gym at River of Life Church, 1411 Columbia Hwy. N., Aiken. The cost is $25 per couple and $15 for singles. Lunch and child care are provided. Contact FAMCO or sign up at http://aikenfamco.com.