Longmont families gather to speak about infant death at Walk to Remember

Daily Times-Call - 10/7/2017

Oct. 07--On Saturday, Longmont families who have dealt with the death of an infant will gather at Longmont United Hospital to remember their loved ones and speak frankly about an issue that affects many, but is rarely discussed.

Out of every 1,000 live births in Colorado, roughly five babies die, according to 2013 data from the National Center for Health Statistics. That number doesn't account for stillbirths or deaths related to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Laura Bickers is one of the staff chaplains at Longmont United Hospital and serves as a facilitator for the hospital's pregnancy and infant loss support group, which meets on the last Tuesday of every month from 6 to 7 p.m. Those interested can call 303-485-4224 for more information.

Bickers helped organize the eighth annual Walk to Remember at LUH on Saturday. The event runs from 9 to 11:30 a.m. and is designed to help families cope with the loss of an infant.

The LUH event precedes worldwide pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day on Oct. 15. People who have been affected by the death of an infant are encouraged to light a candle at 7 p.m. on Oct. 15 in whichever time zone they reside.

"These are small acts that individuals and families can do in memory of their little ones," Bickers said. "They can think of people doing it in a variety of places and a little wave of light washing over the world."

There will be music and readings at Saturday's event.

"When people arrive, they can sign in and write down the names of their loved ones and we'll do a reading of those names. It's a powerful thing because many may go unmentioned for maybe even years," Bickers said. "At the end, we'll go outside and walk and hold those memories and we'll go to the garden of peace ... and conclude with more music and by blowing bubbles with the idea that we're blowing kisses or prayers to the one you love."

Longmont resident Amy Mann will speak about her experience at the Walk to Remember.

Mann's infant daughter, Addie, died in January 2010 of SIDS. She said participating in the walk and talking with others who have the same experience were important to helping her heal.

"It's the worst possible club you can be a member of," she said. "They say that true death is when people stop talking about you or mentioning your name. That's what's valuable about the walk. You can share the story of your baby."

Mann said the event is a safe space for people to talk about infant death.

"When you say you lost a baby, people don't want to talk to you about it," she said. "They kind of shut down and they say the stupidest things sometimes like, 'Well, it was just a baby,' or, 'Are you going to try again?' It feels like you're the failure."

Mann began to tear up as she talked about how infant death can hurt families even years after the loss.

"I don't know how I'll get through tomorrow," she said Friday. "It has been eight years and it still hurts almost as much in different ways. It's like, 'Wow, she would have been 8 now.'"

Mann said she can't stress enough how important it is for people who have experienced an infant death to reach out for help and support.

"You need to rely on others to get the support and help you need. If it wasn't for counseling and therapy and the support of my community, I wouldn't have made it through," she said.

Karen Antonacci: 303-684-5226, antonaccik@times-call.com or twitter.com/ktonacci

___

Visit the Daily Times-Call (Longmont, Colo.) at www.timescall.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.