New grief group helps families find peace, solace

GREENFIELD – Robin Monson-Dupuis, whose son died of a heroin overdose nearly nine months ago, wanted to make a difference in the world after that terrible tragedy. She is starting by helping others with the same plight.

The second GRASP grief support group in the state for those who have lost a loved one to drugs has begun meeting in Greenfield, thanks in large part to her.

As facilitator Monson-Dupuis said the group meets in Greenfield, but is for everyone in the area.

"So many families have lost children to drug overdose, as we have," she said.

The Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing, or GRASP, group meets from 6:15 to 7:45 p.m. on the second and fourth Mondays of the month. GRASP is a subsidiary of Broken No More, a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization.

Because the meetings are tailored to families and friends who have lost loved ones to drugs, GRASP requires facilitators to interview people before they come to their first meeting, Monson-Dupuis said. Not only must the members of the group have lost a child to drugs, but GRASP facilitators must have suffered the same loss.

Bringing good

She applied to begin a GRASP grief group as a result of her search to bring something good out of the loss of her son, Monson-Dupuis said.

The only other GRASP grief group in Wisconsin is in Mequon, she said. So many families have lost children to drug overdoses in the Greenfield/Franklin area she wanted to start a group there, she said.

Monson-Dupuis is the statewide director of outpatient behavioral services for Aurora Health Care, is a substance abuse counselor and a licensed social worker.

Despite her training and background in mental health, when tragedy struck, Monson-Dupuis found the solace and support of others who had also lost children to drugs invaluable.

Comfort

Attending the GRASP group in Mequon, she said, "There's a benefit of being with other parents who have suffered such an enormous loss. The comfort of knowing somebody else gets that is very helpful."

People can just come to the meetings and listen, if they are not ready to share.

"The first time I went, I just listened," she said.

Also, each meeting has a topic, such as how to cope with the first birthday or the first holiday, or even how to cope with well-meaning friends who say things that are actually hurtful or who don't say anything at all, leaving the grieving person feeling terribly alone, Monson-Dupuis said.

Monson-Dupuis said she hopes grieving parents will not feel ashamed that they could not keep their children free of drug abuse.

Drug abuse can happen in any home, she said. She has nearly 30 years as a mental health therapist and her husband is a retired police officer and still they were not immune to having a child who couldn't beat addiction, she said.

Many don't understand the brain chemically changes with opiate use, she said.

That's why it's so hard to kick a heroin habit, she said. It's not a matter of will power, she said. Making kicking a substance habit even harder is that 40 percent of those with substance abuse have an underlying mental issue, such as depression or anxiety, she said. Those issues often push young people to drugs to medicate themselves, she said.

Monson-Dupuis may be contacted at 414-916-4827 and at monsondupuis@gmail.com