Strengthening families with the help of a program

ALGONA - Family members are learning new techniques and ways to handle stress with the help of the Strengthening Families 10-14 (SFP 10-14) Program.

Ten families recently completed the three-week program at the Algona First Presbyterian Church in Algona. Another session is scheduled for spring.

Dawn Schutter, who attended the program with her son, Jacob, said she learned a variety of techniques that she could use. "It has helped me grow stronger and provided me discipline techniques," said Schutter, who also went through the program a couple of years ago with her daughter. "I think it is an excellent program. I got to know my children a bit better."

One issue that she and her son dealt with, along with other families in the program, is stress. "Life is stressful," Schutter said. "You take one day at a time and live life to the fullest."

Stress is an issue that keeps coming up, said Jen Carr, who is one of the three facilitators for the program.

"It is a lot of little things," she said. Examples she used included being stressed because the phone isn't working or the child didn't come home at 5 like the child was supposed to.

The group learned different stress techniques and how to control what they can control in life.

"Asking for help is okay," Carr said.

SFP 10-14 is about strength within the family, learning about each family and parents learning about their children and children learning more about their parents.

"It's more about dealing with situations that come up," said Faye Schluter.

Joining Schluter and Carr as facilitators is Brenda Bormann. Some issues they deal with family members and their sixth-graders are stress, bullying, settings limits, goal setting and a rewards system.

This is the third year of the program. Attendance has doubled since the first year it started operating. Each session is two hours long. The program is fully-funded and prepared by volunteers through out the community.

Last year the United Way of North Central Iowa provided a grant to help pay for the program. In addition, the Lone Rock Presbyterian Church has also been a prime funding source for the program.

The Rev. Loren Schellabarger of Algona First Presbyterian Church said the $25,000 a year budget keeps the program free for all participants. It provides training for all the facilitators and provides for documents, books and supplies.

Fundraisers help support the Strengthening Families. The next fundraiser is slated for Feb. 10 with the YMCA Father and Daughter Dance. There will be a supper before the dance. Details are still in the works.

Carr explained that a piece of the program is initiating family meetings.

"Each night we begin with a family meeting. We go around with compliments and then we discuss how to solve problems and what's going on in their lives this week," she said. "We are opening lines of communication and teaching the responsibility aspect."

From the parent's perspective, Carr said the theme of sibling rivalry does come to the forefront. Such issues as children fighting all the time or sharing the bathroom with siblings.

One thing the group talks about is solving small problems like washing dishes or getting up on time in the morning or even setting limits.

Carr said one week we talked about youth wanting to feel like they belonged, empowerment and enjoyment. "These are all needs that we have," Carr said. "One thing we've been working with the parents on is helping them meet those needs."

Bormann said some of the issues that facilitators hear are that parents aren't listening or just not spending enough time with their mom and dad.

"They love this one-on-one time," she said. "That is one thing they all comment on. Our lives are so busy they probably overlook the times of just sitting down and being together."

As a facilitator, Schluter always wonders if she is getting through to the family members.

"Are they really listening because they are so exuberant," she said.

She also says the facilitator's mention to parents that there are others going through the same things that they are. "They come out of this with a support group if they choose to use that," Schluter stated.

Bormann added that the youth gain confidence from the program. "They are empowered to make a decision and to say 'no'," she said.

Spring SPF 10-14 programs in Algona and Swea City will be starting in February. For information visit Kossuth Strengthening Families Facebook page.