Family Focus: Teenage years can be tough, yet parents can help

Who remembers their high school years, prom, valentine's, high school sweetheart, dances, clubs, after-school activities, sports, among other fun high school activities? Most of all, who remembers that being a teenager was one of the hardest and most difficult times growing up?

Teenage years can be an emotional rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, involving family, friends, significant others, school and social media. It is also the time when physical development happens at a rapid pace and there is really no chance of understanding those deep emotional changes teenagers go through.

It is also the time when teenagers are trying to identify themselves in their social groups, trying to belong, making this a crucial time in their lives. Teenagers develop a sense of trust or distrust towards others depending on their upbringing and their relationships they form during these times; which in turn helps them in their development towards adulthood.

This time is when teenagers can also become rebellious toward people and life, simply because they are not understanding what is happening in their lives with all the rapid changes.

Parents may have a hard time understanding these changes as well; consequently teenagers will want to spend more time with peers, presenting new challenges such as using drugs, alcohol or even sexual relationships. These may also be times when parents feel rejection by their teenagers. Some may say these are normal changes, leave them alone, they are growing up; yet these changes may lead to extreme cases in which as parents we would much rather stay as involved as possible.

There are a few things as parents we can do to help teenagers think a little beyond what high school worries are all about. Guide them to think what is next beyond high school, by using their likes and dislikes. For example, if you have a teenager who is a little rebellious towards life, people, or rebellious in general, maybe you can guide him to think and develop an understanding about thinking towards a career. The gratification of completing a career, whether it is a short or long-term degree; this will be the greatest rebellion against the system. As a rebellious teenager, after completing a certificate career or degree, tells the system, you have won because you are better, and you are making someone important of yourself. Not everyone will have the same opportunity to complete a career. You may call it luck if you want, but may luck surprise you by studying, by making someone important of yourself.

I have always heard the expression 'not everyone was born to go to school' and yes I agree, but we were all born to become someone, and each one of us chooses who that someone will be. We each have the liberty to chose and become whomever we want to become, to succeed and be proud of ourselves in becoming the richest person in the world, the poorest person in the world, or the most blessed person that ever lived. Success consists of doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways. I chose to become who I am because I am happy knowing those whom I love are happy with me, and it affects them in a positive way. I am happy to know that I am able to help and support others using my knowledge and my career. Knowledge breaks the chains of captivity and oppression.

We must always be vigilant with our teenagers by being positive and supportive. Maintaining constant communication, remembering who is the adult in the relationship, always loving before disciplining, truthful and accepting, most of all being parents.

Magnolia Alonzo is the Adult Education Program Coordinator with the South Yuma County Consortium.