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New support group offers help to struggling parents

The North Platte Telegraph - 5/24/2018

UPDATED INFORMATION: The group meets at Cornerstone Church at 1620 W. Fourth St.

Often parents with children face difficult circumstances, but it doesn't have to be something to struggle through alone, according to the co-founder of a local support group, Hope for Hurting Parents.

Gerard Flores, co-founder, approached Theresa Feldman, owner of Beacon of Hope Counseling Center, about starting the group after hearing a radio interview.

"I'd been having issues with raising kids, specifically with a daughter," Flores said. "I was down and out and didn't know what to do."

Tom and Dena Yohe, authors of the book "You are not alone," were being interviewed on EWTN about their support group, Hope for Hurting Parents. Their daughter was a drug addict and self-mutilator.

"I just sat there in my vehicle listening to that and I thought this is what I need to do," Flores said. "We as parents, when we're going through that with a child, we tend think we're alone, we're the only ones who have ever suffered."

He said parents think we have done something wrong.

"We tend to blame ourselves for how we did or didn't do something right in raising our children, which is absolutely not true," Flores said. "I've learned from being in this group that you, parent with the tools that you have, you do the best you can with what you have and ultimately, it's an individual decision."

That time in his life was difficult.

"I remember going through it personally and wanting to just curl up in a ball and hide," Flores said. "You're afraid of what your fellow parents were thinking about you, which probably none of that was true, but your mind kind of takes off and snowballs."

He knew he needed help, so he reached out to Feldman and shortly afterward Casey Kurre came on board at the center and took over facilitating the group.

"Co-dependency is one of the main topics," Kurre said. "Also, enabling and self-care, which is making sure your own needs are met before you're helping others."

She said the illustration is similar to the instructions one gets when boarding an airplane.

"They tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before putting it on your child (in the case of an emergency,)" Kurre said. "We can't help others if we're not at our best."

Kurre shared a couple of quotes from group members, who wish to remain anonymous.

"You are not alone. You have unconditional support. You know you have a safe place to come and discuss your challenges with your child and other people in the group share their experiences, give you courage, wisdom and lots of hope," said one member.

Another said, "Problems with children come from all walks of life, all colors, all creeds, all financial backgrounds."

The group has grown from 3-4 people in the beginning to 10-15 regular participants.

They meet every Monday at 7 p.m. at the Cornerstone Church at 1620 W. Fourth St.. For more information on the group, call Kurre at 532-0777.