For grandparents raising grandchildren, COVID-19 makes things harder

Dec. 6--Before the pandemic, Maria Alfonso would lie awake at night worrying about her grandson David. The 64-year-old grandmother has been raising him since he was 3. At 7, he's already a cancer survivor and has been diagnosed with autism.

The COVID crisis has pushed Alfonso's anxiety even higher.

"I'm diabetic, I have hypertension and I'm old. That's the worst one, because there's no stopping that one," she said. "I'm afraid. If I get sick, what's going to happen to him?"

More than 3,400 grandparents in Miami-Dade live with and are responsible for their own grandchildren under 18 in households with no parent of the children present, according to data from the U.S. Census American Community Survey. Statewide, the number is 51,600; across the nation, the number is more than 891,000.

Pandemic brings more challenges

In these "grandfamilies" -- as some researchers call them -- nearly half of grandparents raising grandchildren nationwide are aged 60 or older, advocacy group Generations United reported earlier this year. While older adults are more vulnerable to the COVID-19 virus, those in grandfamilies like Alfonso's shoulder an even greater burden as they juggle the challenges of quarantine with childcare and remote learning for grandchildren who depend solely on them.

"Some of the everyday trials and tribulations that grandfamilies experience were there already," said Dr. Maggie Skeldon, a psychologist who's worked with grandfamilies in South Florida. "You factor in age, any health impairments, whether they're on a fixed income. But then on top of that, you layer the COVID-19 pandemic and the lack of employment, the lack of supports and the lack of contact."

Before schools closed in the spring, Alfonso had never used email. Now she spends every Monday taking pictures of her grandson's worksheets and emailing each one to his teachers. Her phone is abuzz with notifications about online classwork and ever-changing passwords for Zoom.

Neither she nor her husband speaks English; she credits one of her grandson's daily therapists for helping him navigate schoolwork.

For Antoinette Hixson, who cares full-time for her 14-year-old grandson, the pandemic dealt an immediate financial blow. The daycare where she worked as a preschool teacher for 26 years shut down in the spring because of the virus. The 70-year-old Hixson lost her income overnight. Her husband's earnings as a full-time Uber driver have kept the family afloat.

"If it weren't for God, and my husband, and my savings, I don't know what I would've done," she said.

With her credentials and degree, she thought she'd quickly find work. She's applied at several other schools, daycare facilities and even a supermarket. But she's yet to hear back.

"I really think it's because of my age," she said.

Hixson's story is familiar to many grandfamilies. Finances are often an issue; nationwide, about 19% of grandparents responsible for their grandchildren live in poverty, according to Generations United's report.

But with the pandemic, there's fear that older workers will have a harder time finding a job.

"Nobody is hiring old people now," said Gilberto Herrera, Maria Alfonso's husband. He was one of the lucky ones. He went without work as a delivery driver for only two weeks.

While Alfonso can move easily around town, some grandparents raising grandchildren in South Florida face mobility issues or don't have cars. That makes it difficult to take advantage of resources such as drive-thru food sites, said Shedia Nelson, programs manager at Urgent, Inc. a youth development center in Overtown.

These limitations also have made it harder to access other necessities, including school uniforms and supplies. It doesn't help that many have been sidelined by the digital age, meaning grandparents may be unaware of the resources that could help, Nelson added.

Mastering laptops, mobile devices

"It's definitely been a challenge for grandfamilies -- especially in this climate with all this equipment this generation didn't grow up with -- mobile devices, laptops, Internet -- that they now have to figure out so they can help students," she said.

For about 10 years, Urgent, Inc. ran the Intergenerational Project, a program that offered weekly support groups, outings and services specifically for grandparents raising grandchildren. Nelson said about 15 grandmothers would regularly attend the meetings. It became a space for them to decompress and share the joys and struggles of having to parent all over again.

The program shut down two years ago due to lack of funding, but Nelson has stayed in touch with some of the participants.

Hixson is one of them. The "Grandma Club," as she calls it, was a lifeline.

A social butterfly, Hixson said the pandemic has taken a toll on her own life, too. Like Alfonso, Hixson has spent months in strict lockdown; she's particularly vulnerable to COVID-19 because of her age and a medical history that includes high blood pressure, glaucoma and thyroid issues.

That means no church, no outings, and no traveling for holiday gatherings this year. When a student at her grandson's school tested positive, Hixson had the teen quarantine and attend school online. She warned her children that if they went away for Thanksgiving, Mom's house would be barred for two weeks.

Despite the prevalence of grandfamilies, Nelson said, they lack visibility.

"Finding these families hasn't been easy because it's an underserved population in Miami and there's less funding for these nontraditional families," she said.

Economic pressures

She's come across grandparents who had to return to work to make ends meet after stepping in to raise grandchildren, while others had to quit stable jobs to care for them full time.

"Schools have washed their hands," said Alfonso, who worked as a cook for years before she adopted her grandson. "It's those little details that they don't see and that add up."

As she sat at her dining room table that's now become a school desk, she ticks off unexpected costs. The printer and ink the family had to purchase so it could print out schoolwork. The increase in her food budget now that David eats three meals, along with snacks, at home every day.

If Alfonso's adult children didn't pitch in, she said, her household would barely squeak by on her husband's income of around $2,700 a month as a delivery driver.

And this all comes at an age when most elders are ready to slow down.

"Generally speaking, grandparents are ready to retire, to relax, and ready to take it easy, but because of that biological connection to their grandchildren they want to be that safety net," said Dr. Oliver Edwards, professor and chair of the Department of Counselor Education & School Psychology at the University of Central Florida.

But for many children, a caregiver grandparent is the only thing keeping them from the foster care system.

'The Nine D's'

Edwards had been working as a school psychologist in Broward County when he noticed that a number of children who were referred to him were being raised by grandparents. He's dedicated part of his research to studying grandfamilies. He coined the "nine D's" to indicate the various circumstances that lead to their creation: divorce, decision, drug abuse, death, disease, delivery by adolescent mother, deployment, departure and deportation.

"Although these families have challenges, the grandparents are really trying to do the best job they can," Edwards said.

Back at Alfonso's home, she rifles through the folders containing the schoolwork that has turned her into a part-time teacher on top of being a full-time caregiver.

Alfonso has been in strict lockdown since the spring. Her grandson used to stay at school until 5 p.m. to attend therapy sessions. His schedule gave her time to visit her adult children and help them out around the house, or drop by an elderly aunt who lives in the neighborhood.

The isolation has taken a toll on her emotionally, she said. But despite the challenges, Alfonso is adamant that her grandson won't return to school until there's a vaccine. Neither he, nor she, can take the risk, she said.

The stress lines her face. But then her grandson blows her a kiss and says "I love you" before disappearing into his room. She says it back. For a moment, she's just grandma again.

___

(c)2020 Miami Herald

Visit Miami Herald at www.miamiherald.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.