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Passive Aggressive Abuse

Author: khalilahk ( Social Network of Care )
Posted: 05/17/2012 @ 8:08 pm

I never thought I would end up in an abusive relationship let alone marriage. I always looked for those warning signs and steered clear of certain types. But here I am just as battered without a single punch being thrown. My husband is is incredibly passive aggressive that I am feared into acting a certain way to avoid him wrath. From days of silents aggression to outbursts directed at the children instead of me he keeps me walking on eggshells. His constant invasion of my privacy from checking all text messages, cell phone calls, my Facebook page, and my journal I have been completely cut off from friends and family. I don't even turn on my cell phone anymore. If my sister asks me to come visit I say no because of the anticipated attitude I will get if I tell him I'm going to lunch with my sister or even the movies with my teenage son. If he is not going then no one can go. The crazy thing is he never will say don't go. He'll punish me in other ways. Or he'll sabotage it by losing the car keys or suddenly needing to leave the kids in my care so he can run a not so quick errand. When I confront him about anything the passive aggression escalates. When I talk to him he goes silent and just make angry expressions or worse, he'll walk out of the room while I'm talking and just simply ignore me completely. Then the next day he'll wake up and make breakfast and give me flowers like nothing ever happened. I've gotten to the point where I don't even try to be social with anyone anymore. And I certainly don't dare invite anyone over to my house. He is so antisocial social it's embarrassing. He leaves the living room and I'm forced to entertain alone. Then when company leaves he complains that he is jealous of all the time I spent with them...his time!!! How on earth did I get myself into this? To be completely truthful, I stay because the thought of him alone with the kids is far more scary then my day to day life. And if he's virtually stalking me now i can't imagine what he would evolve to if I left. Does anyone else relate to any of this? I could really use some support.

Author: Kathy Sterbenc ( Social Network of Care )
Posted: 08/30/2012 @ 1:55 pm

Hello, khalilahk -

Thank you for your post. If you would like any resources to assist you in your situation, please email me at, and I will be very happy to send information.

Best wishes,


Author: ( Social Network of Care )
Posted: 04/27/2021 @ 2:29 pm
Hello there. I can relate to you because of my first marriage. I had a jealous husband way back in the 70's and we divorced '82. I am having another abusive marriage because of my husband's family. His poor inner child can't accept that his family is behind all of this. There is a lot of narcissistic abuse with fake love talk that he says is real love coming from his family to me every year for the last 7 out of a 25-year marriage. I am dealing with a man with an explosive temper. He thinks I am trying to push everyone out of his life. No, that is not true. He let them into our weak bond, and they had their way with me. I have no choice but to speak up. I am thinking of meeting people at a senior center for a workout. I haven't been able to find friends here since we moved into the same complex where in-laws live. I get body shamed, and manipulated to think it is not safe for me to make friends with anyone here. Now I am talking to people but it is already too late. My husband can't give due respect, doesn't believe anything I say, and abuses me verbally. All I \do is ask him not to talk to me that way. He has a lady friend who gets treated special for years, and naturally we will be at odds eventually. She made overtures once I saw who she really is and she knew it. My husband ignores the evidence and it is all my fault, everything according to him. His family devised a plan for when Mike was making me scream out of fear that he is leaving and where? For how long? I have no car, friends, family. He doesn't love me so he is less than thrilled because it is easier to hate me than to believe anything I say. Again, he acts as though I am the only person who treats him bad, but I am only exercising my rights as a human being. The plan was to gain access to my home as I tried to stop him physically, pulling him back in because the fear is bad. The in-law just happens to be the one gaining access in the name of helping my husbands escape. Escape what? Responsibility for his actions/lack of actions. General abuse that no one sees coming from them, and I have to keep my mouth shut. Sorry so long.