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How to report a sexual assault and support survivors

Kansas City Star - 9/14/2021

Sep. 14—Roughly every 68 seconds someone in American is sexually assaulted, according to The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.

When it comes to reporting a sexual assault, or talking to a survivor of sexual assault, RAINN has several tips, including encouraging people be supportive and non-judgemental when talking to a survivor. It's also important let the survivor be in charge of their healing process.

"Survivors have already had their autonomy taken away from them, so in the healing process it's really important that the whole process be survivor led," said Erinn Robinson, the press secretary for RAINN. "It's important that the survivor be empowered to make their own choices about how to heal and what to do next in their healing journey."

It's important to communicate empathy with survivors of sexual assault. Remind survivors that it's not their fault. And also give survivors your undivided attention.

"We've heard from many survivors that that's the most healing thing that anyone in their life can do for them," Robinson said.

RAINN has specific language and phrases it recommends to use to be supportive with a survivor of sexual assault. It is also important to make sure the survivor knows they are not alone.

Some phrases to use when speaking to a survivor is, according to RAINN:

"I believe you." "It took a lot of courage to tell me about this."

"It's not your fault." "You didn't do anything to deserve this."

"You are not alone." "I care about you and am here to listen or help in any way I can."

"I'm sorry this happened." "This shouldn't have happened to you."

RAINN has come up with the acronym TALK for how to talk to a loved one who has experienced sexual violence.

— T: Thank them for telling you.

— A: Ask how you can help.

— L: Listen without judgment.

— K: Keep supporting.

It's just as important to know what not to say Robinson said.

"Some examples of what not to say are questioning if (the assault) actually happened," Robinson said. "Saying something like, 'What you've described doesn't sound like sexual assault to me or that's not as bad compared to what other people have been through.'"

"Sometimes support means providing resources, such as how to reach the National Assault Hotline, seek medical attention, or report the crime to the police," RAINN says on its website. "But often listening is the best way to support a survivor."

Here are a few resources if you need to report a sexual assault.

The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800.656.4673.

The University of Kansas has a CARE Coordinator whose primary role is to provide institutional support to students affected by violence. KU's CARE Coordinator is Merrill Evans. The CARE coordinator services are free and confidential. If you need to make an appointment with the CARE coordinator, you can contact Merrill by email at care@ku.edu or by phone number at 785.864.9255.

The Sexual Trauma & Abuse Care Center can provide information and guidance on what to do after experiencing sexual trauma. Their support line is available 24/7 and the number is 785.843.8985.

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault provides a 24/7 crisis hotline and counseling services to survivors of sexualt assault across Jackson, Platte, Clay, Cass, Johnson and Wyandotte counties. Their hotlines are available at (816) 531-0233 and (913) 642-0233.

Kansas City Anti-Violence Project provides support services to LGBTQ survivors of violence, assault or hate crimes, including assistance during court proceedings, hospital advocacy, free counseling sessions and short-term housing.

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