Teen twins help mom run 'Free Your Wings' tutoring, mentoring program in South Bend

Jan. 3—SOUTH BEND — Aja Ellington knew for years that she wanted to start a program to help young people.

However, even at 32, she understands that the world has changed tremendously since she was a teenager.

"It's just a digital and social media world," Ellington, who is the mother of 13-year-old twins Valentino and Tinayja Summers, said. "It wasn't like that when I was younger. We played outside, built forts didn't have access to even half the (electronic) tools that they have."

Ellington said it wasn't all fun and games during her childhood. Her economically stressed family moved a lot and they were homeless for a time. She also became a mother herself as a teenager.

Still, she didn't have to deal with the constant messages and bullying over social media that her children and their peers often confront.

So, when she decided to start "Free Your Wings Youth Mentoring" with the help of a $7,000 South Bend Alive grant, she knew that she had to listen to people who were in the age group that she wanted to help.

Ellington has two nieces in that age range. However, as the group evolved from its founding in 2018, and Valentino and Tinayja entered their teenage years, her twin children emerged as advisors and co-founders of the organization.

"I depend on the twins a whole lot to assist with everything and especially to reach their age group because how I grew up and how the world was when I was 13 is much different from what they experience," she said. "So, I have to get the concrete expertise of their age group in order to run the organization."

Tinayja, who is a seventh grader at John Young Middle School in Mishawaka, didn't initially embrace her leadership role.

"At first I wasn't really feeling it and I wasn't really ready to do any of it," she said, "but I saw that she wanted me to help her."

Eventually, the program started to receive recognition for its activities, such as neighborhood clean ups, and Tinayja saw the positive impact it was having.

"Then I got used to it, and now every time she needs help, I help her so that she doesn't have to do it alone," she said.

Valentino, her brother, said that he's also seen the impact that taking a leadership role can have on his peers.

"We can empower people at young ages and we can bring a lot of motivation to other youth to help each other out," he said, noting that there are a lot of young people who feel isolated and voiceless.

"A lot of people have nobody," he said. "They have nobody to support them, nobody to talk to.

"They just be alone doing the same routine every day and something bad happens then they don't know what to do or how to express themselves."

Both teens say they've told their mother the major issues confronting their peers are peer pressure, bullying, struggles with self image, and self-harm.

Social media often amplifies all of those issues, Valentino said.

Ellington said that many of the situations that youth confront are complex and do not have simple answers. Yet, institutions such as schools can have a one-size-fits-all approach to addressing problems that are multi-layered.

Children often act out in school because of other things going on in their lives, such as the deaths of loved ones, either from natural causes or violence. Poor academic performance or behavioral problems sometimes can be symptoms of a larger problem.

Free Your Wings has educators and mental health professionals who do tutoring and mentoring, wellness and mental health awareness activities. The youth participants also get involved in community organizing activities, such as neighborhood clean-ups, Ellington said.

Ellington, who has a master's degree in social work from Indiana University South Bend, said four other educators and counselors work with the program as volunteers.

"We do one-on-one mentoring with any youth that wants services," she said. "Then we get the parents' approval and start right there."

LaQuesha Williams, a longtime friend of Ellington's who is also a teacher in the South Bend Schools, is one of the teacher volunteers.

"I volunteer for different events, such as when she does the neighborhood clean ups," Williams said. "But my prominent role is tutoring." Williams said that last spring and summer she volunteered to be a tutor for a program called Homework and Chill.

"It was a place for kids to come to socialize and do homework," Williams said. "They were able to eat there and have a time to spend with their peers, spend with adults."

Williams said Homework and Chill and all of the initiatives that Ellington and her children do as a part of Free Your Wings gives young people a chance to be exposed to something positive, see something different. The program was youth centered and catered to their needs and priorities, and the students responded.

"There was no kids arguing or adults trying to tell kids what to do," Williams said.

"It was a place for kids to have choices and they are able to express and explore their minds explore different things in conversation," Williams said.

She added that it was also nice to see Ellington and her twin children working as a team in Free Your Wings.

"It's great that they are a part of a program that is becoming well established in South Bend and it is even better that it's led by their mom."

Email South Bend Tribune reporter Howard Dukes at hdukes@gannett.com

Follow him on Twitter: @DukesHoward

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