'It's Like Family' DAYBreak Respite Care joy to participants, break for caregivers DAYBreak Respite Care is a joy to participants, a break for caregivers

What: DAYBreak Respite Care

When: 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday

Where: Centenary United Methodist Church, 646 W. Fifth St., enter from 4½ Street

Cost: $40 a person a day

Information: (336) 397-1345

On a recent Tuesday at DAYBreak Respite Care, Jere Dailey was the life of the party.

At the urging of Art Bloom, a volunteer pianist and song-leader, Dailey leapt to his feet and marched around the room while the group sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Volunteer Susie Pollock played along on violin.

Earlier in the day, Dailey had lunch, did a little exercise, painted watercolors and shared his enthusiasm for the program held at Centenary Methodist Church.

"It's like family to me," he said. "It's so nice. I really like meeting people and hearing people laugh."

Dailey wore a bright blue Hawaiian shirt and talked about his world travels throughout his life to Portugal, Spain, France, Switzerland and Hawaii. Age and memory loss have slowed him down - but not much.

He and others come to DAYBreak - one to four days a week - to socialize, participate in art and other kinds of activities and allow their regular caregivers - spouses or children - to have a little time to themselves.

On this day there were nine participants, four volunteers, an intern, one part-time staff person and Debbie Pilson, director of respite care at Centenary.

"People can volunteer on whatever day or days they choose - morning, afternoon or all day," Pilson said. "Sometimes, I am in need of volunteers or substitutes."

The program, which started 18 years ago, is for older adults who have some memory impairment. Participants have to be medically stable and somewhat independent. The program can't handle people who wander or are completely incontinent, Pilson said.

There is a pre-enrollment interview and assessment required before attendance, and arrangements can be made for free trail days.

"It's an outreach ministry of Centenary, but it's not just for church members," Pilson said. "We serve the community and the surrounding area. The program provides socialization and stimulation."

They bring in speakers such as Mayor Allen Joines, Sheriff William Schatzman, someone from the fire department. "And the church has a lot of artists, sculptors, potters, musicians, writers," Pilson said.

Tim Hill, an artist, was helping the participants use watercolor paints mixed with shaving cream, which makes the pigments more manageable. They were making small paintings and greeting cards, including Valentines.

Hill, a member of Centenary who is on the church's music and arts committee, volunteered after hearing all the buzz and laughter coming from Room 116, where the program is held.

"I'd be next door with the committee and hear them," he said. "It was a natural for me. ... All these folks have had nice, full lives before they got here. Some have been artists."

Hans Mittemeijer displayed a Valentine that he had made for his wife, Britt. Mittemeijer is a retired executive with R.J. Reynolds and Hanesbrands.

Full of life

DeeDee Fenwick is a longtime volunteer at DAYBreak.

"I love it," she said. "You see the people and hear their stories. They all have a lot to offer."

Rita Toivonen, a participant, is a retired librarian and had some advice for younger generations: "Be sure you like what you're doing, because life is too short."

"My husband and I used to do a lot of political campaigning all over the state. It was my husband who got me involved (at DAYBreak)," Toivonen said. "The people here are so fun and so nice. Everybody who comes loves it. It's a sociable group, and we laugh a lot. There are some who don't talk so much, but we try to draw them out."

Dennis Toivonen said that his wife didn't want to go the first time, but now she wouldn't miss it.

"I was a hard-driving lawyer, and I can't communicate the way her peer group can," he said. "They have a community of interest and they accept one another. It's been really positive. For me it's been good, because I can get housework done, and we go to Bermuda Village for dining. It makes it very good for both of us."

Studies in Neurology, a medical journal of the American Academy of Neurology, and the Mayo Clinic'sNational Institute on Aging have shown that pursuing art and craft activities and socializing with others can slow memory loss and improve cognitive function.

"I feel the greatest benefit for the participants is mental stimulation as well as enjoyable social interaction," Pilson said. "The person's caregiver benefits too. It provides them a little break from the 24/7 caregiving responsibilities, and gives them some much-needed time to take care of things and time to themselves. They can relax knowing their loved one is in a safe environment and having a fun day."

Jude Swanson, 24, is a student at Wake Forest University Divinity School. He is doing an internship with DAYBreak. His interest in working with older people came initially from watching his father who worked in retirement communities, he said.

"For the participants, they have a place where they are accepted for who they are and can be intellectually, socially and physically engaged," Swanson said. "It helps the participants by engaging their minds to help combat the aggressive progression of dementia.

"It's nice to see the church doing this kind of outreach."

Sweet hearts

Throats were cleared, and somebody shouted, "Let's sing this one to Debbie (Pilson)," as the group prepared to sing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart," accompanied by Bloom and Pollock.

"Debbie does such a great job," Rita Toivonen said.

"Debbie is a superb leader of that group," Dennis Toivonen said.

Pilson said that she derives as much benefit from the program as the participants and their caregivers do.

"Working with people with memory impairment is a passion and a calling for me, so it doesn't feel like work at all," Pilson said. "They continuously teach me to live in the present, enjoy the present day, the present moment. They also teach me to slow my pace, which allows for more enjoyment each moment of the day."

Swanson said that working with the program participants is helpful to him also.

"While at DAYBreak, I've learned an incredible amount of patience and gained new social skills myself," he said. "I know that what I am doing is helping people - people who are often overlooked by the rest of society."

lfelder@wsjournal.com (336) 727-7298