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Bags for Brian fundraiser honors beloved husband and dad, supports Gundersen Medical Foundation

La Crosse Tribune - 10/30/2021

Oct. 30—Brian Rebhahn's cancer battle lasted almost exactly two years, a rollercoaster of pain, progress, setbacks, hope and, ultimately, devastation.

Brian was 40 years old when he was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer. Over the previous six months, Brian had experienced a few bouts of stomach pain, but after a night of such intense discomfort he couldn't sleep he and wife Val Kokott Rebhahn decided he should see a doctor.

It was July 6, 2014, when blood tests revealed Brian had cancer. He had no family history of the disease.

Colorectal cancer is the third most diagnosed form of cancer in the U.S, and typically starts with the growth of polyps on the colon or rectum. Around 53,000 people will die in 2021 from the disease, the American Cancer Society says, and while the overall death rate for colorectal cancer has decreased over the years, it has actually climbed among those under 55, at an increase of 1% from 2008 to 2017. Around 12% of cases are attributed to those under 50.

The American Cancer Society advises screening begin at 45, or starting at 40 if the individual has a family history of colorectal cancer. If a person notices blood in their stool or rectal bleeding, they should talk to their doctor immediately. For colorectal cancer, screening forms include stool cards, which are used to test fecal matter for hidden, or occult, blood, or an endoscopy, such as a colonoscopy, which uses a tiny camera to examine the colon, rectum and large intestine.

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Because of his young age and lack of predisposition of the disease, Brian had never undergone a screening. While Brian only displayed one symptom — sporadic abdominal pain — other signs of the cancer include rectal bleeding, blood in the stool, persistent cramps, pain or bloating, unexplained weight loss and continued change in bowel habits

"It is important to listen to and pay attention to your body," Val says.

In addition to screenings and medical care, individuals should practice prevention in their daily lives by eating nutritiously, being physically active, quitting smoking if they do so, and limiting alcohol. It is also important for families to share any cancer history with relatives so they can be cognizant of warning signs and begin screening earlier.

For colorectal cancer caught early on, treatment may involve an endoscopy to remove the cancerous polyps, or surgery to remove a portion of the colon. Cancer that has progressed may require chemotherapy or radiation. Brian, who was given a two year survival estimate, began with having a large part of his colon surgically removed, a procedure that went well. Chemotherapy followed, which destroyed most of the cancer, and further treatment was focused on the remaining few spots on his liver.

"He really looked good and healthy and many people didn't even know he had cancer," Val recalls. "He didn't feel the greatest on his chemo days, but he bounced back within a day or two. He remained working almost the entire time he was sick. He was still enjoying life and we really thought we could beat the cancer, despite his prognosis, because we were hopeful and because he was doing so well."

During Brian's treatment, Val, who met Brian in kindergarten, became a couple in high school and married at age 22, and their daughters, Brianna and Danika, were by his side as much as possible, with Val accompanying him to treatments and appointments.

"We coped as a family by being there for each other and supporting each other," Val says. "The girls and I stayed in the hospital with him when he had his colon surgery. We functioned as a family and kept going through the ups and downs — we communicated, worked through our feelings and still had fun."

The family was fortunate, Val adds, to have the love and support of family and friends, understanding employers and coworkers, and the compassion of their daughters' teachers and school staff and counselors. Loved ones raised funds to help cover medical costs and helped with meals and work around the house.

"We all knew we were loved and supported and people were there for us," Val says.

Rebhahn, who loved watching and playing softball and baseball and coached his daughters' teams — "those were some of the absolute best times of our lives," Val says — was in attendance at Gundersen's Strike Out Colon Cancer game at the La Crosse Loggers ballpark in 2015. A photo from the event shows the four family members, clad in blue t-shirts and sunglasses, smiling brightly.

Distressingly, during Brian's second year of treatment his health declined, with severe back pain and the weight of physical, emotional and mental distress piling on.

"That was probably the hardest part — we knew what was happening, what was coming, and that the prognosis was coming true," Val says.

On June 29, 2016, Val and Brian marked their 20th wedding anniversary. Just five days later, on July 4, 2016, Brian passed away.

The loss ran deep. Brian, a talented and competitive ball player, fisher, and handyman, was also creative, smart, and witty, quick to make others laugh. He had a zest for life and "could be a stinker," Val jokes, but was also kind, loving, empathic and respectful.

"He was the kind of guy who put his all into being a great dad and my girls are so blessed to have had such special and consistent times with him," Val says. "We could all count on him, as could his friends and extended family members."

In 2017, Brian was honored at Gundersen's Strike Out Colon Cancer game, and the family created Brian's Fund, which supports the Gundersen Medical Foundation. The first Bags for Brian event was held in 2017, and raised over $13,000 for local cancer support programs and research. The event, which has been held four years, as the 2020 event was cancelled due to COVID, has in total brought in over $42,000, plus contributions made directly to the fund in 2020.

Around 300 to 400 people attend the 10 hour event on an average year, which includes a bags contest — a favorite activity at family gatherings, and something Val was comfortable organizing with the help of family and friends — silent auction, raffle, bake sale, and music. This year's event, held in September, included 75 donated raffle items, from gift certificates to a kayak, and 10 auction items, with a cabin stay and Badger tickets among them. The family presented Gundersen with a $10,000 check from the event this month.

Dr. Michael O. Ojelabi, Brian's oncologist at Gundersen, was "so kind and caring" during Brian's treatment, Val says, and notes at the check presentation he and other oncology staff asked about Brianna and Danika and shared stories about Brian.

"It was an emotional check presentation — they are all such good people," Val says. "There indeed is still a lot of good in this world."

Brian's memory not only lives on through his eponymous fund, but through Brianna, now age 19, and Danika, 15, and through Val, who cherishes the decades they had together.

"While I am so sad that he is no longer here, I am so lucky to have had this man in my life and grow up with him and mature with him," Val says. "He had a wonderful life, but it was way too short. Quite simply, he was the kind of guy that any parent would want their child or daughter to marry. He was not perfect, because nobody is, but he was perfect for me and our girls."

Donations to Brian's Fund can be mailed to Gundersen Medical Foundation, 1836 South Ave., La Crosse, WI 54601. Checks should be made payable to Gundersen Medical Foundation with "Brian's Fund" in the check memo.

Emily Pyrek can be reached at emily.pyrek@lee.net.

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