Stalking & Cyberstalking

By: National Domestic Violence Hotline

Stalking, harassing behavior or threatening behavior that happens repeatedly, is a large problem in America. Currently it is believed that 1.4 million victims are stalked each year. The pattern of controlling behaviors in stalking is very similar to domestic violence. Stalking behaviors and can include following the victim, threatening or repeated phones calls, coming to the victim’s place of employment, leaving written messages or objects, and vandalizing the victim’s property. In domestic violence situations the family court system can also be used to stalk or harass the victim.

There are warning signs and safety measures that a victim should learn. Warning signs include an escalation of behavior- are they following you more or calling 50 times instead of two or three a day, is there a change in the pattern, for example the stalker leaves nice notes and now they are threatening. If you receive any threats towards you or your family you should notify the police. Also, has there been recent in-person contact? These are signs that the situation is worsening and you need to notify the police, and those around you including co-workers, friends, or family. A safety measure that should begin from the first signs that this may be stalking is a diary of events including any in-person contact, letters, phone calls, escalation of behaviors, contact with family, and if possible printed e-mails and answering machine messages. Change your locks if the stalker is an ex-partner, change your phone number and only give it to those who really need it. If possible keep the old phone to keep track of how many times they call or what messages are left. You do not need to listen to these messages, but keeping them will help with any possible prosecution or with obtaining a restraining order or order of protection. Be aware of your surroundings, and it is advised to not have contact or confront you stalker. For further information on-line visit http://www.antistalking.com and http://www.stalkingassistance.com

Cyberstalking

As more and more people are gaining access to the Internet there is an increasing awareness of a new form of stalking called cyber stalking. Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet, and other forms of electronic communications to harass or threaten someone repeatedly. This can involve e-mail, harassment in live chat situations, and using the victims code name or e-mail address after leaving inappropriate messages on message boards or guest books, sending viruses, or electronic theft identity.

By using e-mail the stalker can send spam (large volumes of unsolicited junk mail) and send pornographic materials to work or family accounts. In live chat situations the harassment may involve "flaming", or on-line verbal abuse, sexual harassment, and repeated attempts at "private chats". Electronic identity theft is use of the Internet to gain personal information. There are on-line services that will give your social security number, financial history, personal information, and a detailed map to your house.

Cyberstalking can be as terrifying as IRL (in real life) stalking, but often harder to prove and more difficult to control. The anonymity of the Internet works for the stalker, but there are safety procedures to help anyone on-line and those being cyber stalked. Do not give out personal information on-line, do not use your real name or nickname on-line, and be very careful about meeting on-line acquaintances in person. If you are being cyber stalked change e-mail accounts, and again as with IRL if possible keep old account open to document on-going abuse and only give new information those who really need it. If you cannot change accounts look in to filter programs. Within a chat room use gender-neutral nicknames, do not use real e-mail addresses, be careful with profiles, use ignore options, and do not answer individual chat requests. Notify the chat administrator or room moderators of abuse. If you are being harassed through e-mail or through a chat room you can notify the Internet provider; most Internet providers have either a complaints account at postmaster@domainname or abuse@domainname.

For more help on-line and more safety measures there are several web sites devoted to cyber stalking; http://www.haltabuse.org and www.cyberangels.org offer suggestions and support to those being cyber stalked.

www.ndvh.org